How can they repair after borrowing and forgetting to return something? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often borrow things, such as a pencil, a toy, or a book, with the very best of intentions. However, when they forget to return the item, they can be left feeling guilty, nervous, or unsure of how to fix the situation. The fear of being scolded or of losing the trust of a friend may tempt them to remain silent. Teaching your child how to take responsibility, to apologise, and to make things right can help them to build a sense of honesty, respect, and reliability, all of which are traits that form the foundation of strong friendships and of a good character.

 

Start by Replacing Their Fear with Courage 

It is important to reassure your child that everyone can be forgetful sometimes, but that what really matters is our willingness to make things right. You could say, ‘It is not a bad thing to make a mistake, but it is a brave thing to be able to fix it.’ When your child feels safe and supported by you, they are much more likely to take ownership of their actions rather than trying to hide from them. You can explain that returning something late is about showing respect, not about achieving perfection. 

Teach Them a Simple Three-Step Repair Plan 

You can give your child a simple plan for how to fix the situation in a clear and kind way. 

• Admit the mistake: ‘I have just realised that I forgot to give this back to you.’ 

• Apologise briefly: ‘I am so sorry. I should have returned it to you sooner.’ 

• Make amends: ‘Here it is now. I will make sure that I remember to give it back straight away next time.’ 

These three short steps can communicate a real sense of maturity. You can role-play them at home so that your child can practise their tone and build their confidence. 

Handling a Lost or Damaged Item 

If your child is unable to return the borrowed item, it is important to teach them to address the situation with honesty, instead of pretending that nothing has happened. You can encourage them to say, ‘I am so sorry, but I cannot find the item I borrowed from you. Can I replace it for you or help you to fix it?’ You can then guide them to offer a practical solution, such as replacing the item or writing a kind note of apology. The goal is not to punish them, but to show them how to repair a sense of trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the act of returning what we have borrowed is not just a matter of good manners; it is a sacred trust (amanah). Forgetfulness can happen, but choosing to repair the situation with a sense of honesty is an act of righteousness. Teaching your child to handle the things they have borrowed with a sense of care and accountability helps to connect their everyday actions to their faith and their integrity. 

The Sacred Trust of Returning What Belongs to Others 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice…’ 

This verse highlights that returning what we owe to others, even if it is something small, is an act of obedience to Allah Almighty. It is a reflection of our own sense of fairness and integrity. When your child remembers to return something, or makes the effort to repair the situation after having forgotten, they are practising this divine command in their own small world. 

The Prophetic Example of Honesty in Our Trusts 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 5023, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man is entrusted with something and he betrays that trust, he will be among the hypocrites.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the concept of trust is a sacred one, even in small matters. For your child, it can mean that when they borrow something, they are also holding a piece of responsibility. Forgetting is a human error, but choosing to fix that error with the truth shows that they are trustworthy, a quality that was deeply loved by the Prophet ﷺ. 

Helping your child to repair a situation after they have forgotten to return something can help to turn a small mistake into a powerful moral lesson. They can learn that a sense of honesty, even when it may feel awkward, can restore a sense of peace much faster than avoidance ever could. 

Your calm guidance in these moments, helping them to apologise in a simple way, to act quickly, and to move on kindly, will show them that our integrity is not about never slipping up, but about always being willing to stand back up again. Each time they are able to take responsibility in this way, they are strengthening both their own conscience and their friendships. 

Spiritually, these small acts of responsibility can help to prepare their hearts for the bigger trusts that they will face in life. They will grow to understand that every borrowed item, every kept promise, and every act of honesty is a part of their faith in action, of returning not just the physical objects, but a sense of trust, of sincerity, and of peace to the people that Allah Almighty has placed in their care.