How can they rebuild a friendship months later without awkwardness? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child wants to reconnect with a friend after a period of several months apart, a feeling of uncertainty can often replace their usual confidence. They may begin to wonder, ‘Will it feel strange?’, or ‘Do they still want to be my friend?’ Teaching your child that it is normal for things to feel a little different, and that this difference does not have to mean that the friendship has failed, can help them to re-enter the friendship with a sense of calm and of maturity. 

Helping Them to Understand That Time Can Heal 

You can begin by saying, ‘Friendships are able to rest for a while and still be real. A period of time apart does not have to erase the care that you have for each other; it just means that you are both growing and changing.’ This can give them the permission they may need to be able to approach their old friend without any feelings of embarrassment or of pressure. You can also explain to them that the act of rebuilding a friendship is not about trying to recreate the old version of it; it is about starting afresh from where they both are now. 

Guiding Them in Making a Warm and Simple Reconnection 

You can encourage your child to reach out to their friend in a way that feels natural and light. A casual and friendly message will often work much better than a grand speech. 

• ‘Hey, I was just thinking about you. How have you been?’ 

• ‘It has been a while! I saw something today that reminded me of our old joke.’ 

• ‘Do you want to try to catch up at lunchtime sometime soon?’ 

These small and simple openings can sound friendly, not heavy with emotion. They are able to communicate a sense of warmth, without having to demand a sense of closeness. If the friend seems distant in their reply, you can remind your child not to take it personally. People and their circumstances can change over time, and not every connection is meant to be fully resumed. 

Rebuilding the Friendship Gently, Not Rushing 

It is important to explain to your child that a sense of trust and of comfort can often need some time to be able to regrow. You can encourage them to move slowly, with some short conversations, some shared group activities, or some shared laughter, instead of trying to restore any deep talks immediately. This gradual and gentle rhythm can help to prevent any feelings of awkwardness and can allow both of them to rediscover a sense of comfort with each other. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches believers that the act of mending our bonds with others is one of the most beloved of all actions in the sight of Allah. The act of rebuilding a friendship after a period of time apart is a reflection of the principles of silat ar-rahim (the mending of ties) and of afw (forgiveness). When your child is able to reach out to a friend with sincerity after a period of distance, they are mirroring the beautiful example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who always sought to restore his ties with others with a sense of gentleness and of humility. 

The Quranic Teaching on Reconciling with Grace 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse can remind your child that the act of reconnection is in itself an act of mercy, one that is both received and given. When they are able to make the effort to rebuild a friendship in a kind way, even if it is only partially, they are participating in an act that is deeply beloved by Allah. 

The Prophetic Example of a Renewed Connection 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1597, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three days; and when they meet, each should greet the other with peace. If one returns the greeting, they share the reward; but if the other does not, the sin remains on the one who withholds.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the act of being the first to offer a greeting after a period of distance is an act of both strength and of faith. When your child is able to offer a warm ‘hello’ or a simple, friendly message after a period of months of silence, they are fulfilling this beautiful prophetic teaching of being the one who chooses a path of peace over one of pride. 

Guiding your child to rebuild a friendship after a period of time apart can help them to practise the virtues of both humility and of hope. They can learn from this experience that an act of kindness after a period of silence is not a weakness, but is in fact a form of spiritual courage, a step that can honour both their own heart and their faith. 

Your own gentle reassurance can help them to see that not all of our reconnections have to be perfect in order to be meaningful. Some may simply bring a sense of closure, while others may be able to renew a sense of warmth. Both of these outcomes can be a form of blessing in our lives. 

When your child is able to smile at an old friend and to say, ‘Hey, it has been a while. I am so glad that we are talking again,’ they will be living out a quiet but beautiful Sunnah of healing the hearts of others through a sense of gentleness, of reviving a connection through a sense of peace, and of showing that a true and sincere friendship, just like our own faith, is at its strongest when it is renewed with a sense of sincerity and of grace.