How can they handle being left on read without spiralling? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a friend reads a message but does not reply, it can feel like a form of rejection, especially to a sensitive child. They may begin to think, ‘Did I say something wrong?’, or ‘They must be upset with me.’ What is often just a matter of bad timing or a simple distraction can easily spiral into a feeling of self-doubt. Helping your child to understand the difference between what is personal and what is simply possible, such as a friend being busy or distracted, can help them to build their emotional resilience and a greater sense of maturity. 

Understanding the Feeling Beneath the Silence 

It is helpful to begin by normalising the experience for them. You can say gently, ‘Everyone gets left on read sometimes. It does not always mean that something is wrong.’ You can explain to them that people’s lives all move at different paces; sometimes a friend may open a message while they are in class, at the dinner table, or while they are feeling tired, and they may then simply forget to respond. It is not always an act of rejection; it is just the reality of life. 

Teaching Thoughtful Interpretation Instead of Assumption 

You can guide your child to take a pause before they jump to any negative conclusions. Encourage them to ask themselves a few simple questions. 

• ‘Could my friend just be busy right now?’ 

• ‘Has this happened before, and did they reply to me later?’ 

• ‘Am I reading too much into just one single moment?’ 

This can help your child to develop a sense of cognitive distance from their initial thoughts, which is a key skill in the art of emotional regulation. 

Offering Kind and Calm Next Steps 

If your child wants to reach out to their friend again, you can show them how to do it in a way that is light and respectful. 

• ‘Hey, I am just checking that you saw my last message!’ 

• ‘There is no rush to reply if you are busy. I hope that you are doing okay.’ 

These messages are able to express a sense of care without applying any undue pressure. They can help to reopen the conversation without sounding needy or accusatory. You can also encourage them to fill their waiting time in a positive way, such as by reading a book, by drawing, or by going outside for some fresh air. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us the importance of having patience (sabr) and of holding a good opinion (husn al-dhann) of other people, even when things may feel uncertain. The experience of being ‘left on read’ can be a test of both of these virtues. It is a very modern moment that calls for a timeless form of wisdom: to trust in the good intentions of others, to hold on to our own sense of calm, and to remember that a believer’s peace does not have to depend on the actions of others, but on the state of their own heart. 

The Quranic Guidance on Patience and Perspective 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 1–3: 

‘By the (design of) time (by Allah Almighty); indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.’ 

This short but profound chapter of the Quran can remind your child that the quality of patience is what protects our hearts from a sense of loss. When they are able to resist the urge to overthink a situation and are able to choose a path of calm understanding instead, they are practising the very form of patience that is praised by Allah Almighty. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Having Good Assumptions 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6064, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales.’ 

This hadith is a perfect compass to use in these moments of digital silence. It warns us against the danger of filling the unknown spaces in our lives with negative stories. When your child is able to choose to think, ‘They are probably just busy,’ instead of, ‘They are ignoring me on purpose,’ they are following this beautiful prophetic example of replacing their doubt with a sense of goodwill. 

Helping your child to handle the experience of being left on read is a way of teaching them one of the most essential of all social skills: how to hold on to a sense of peace in a moment of uncertainty. They can learn from these experiences that their own self-respect does not have to waver with another person’s delay. 

Your own reassurance in these moments can help them to see that emotional strength is not about reacting quickly, but about thinking in a kind and compassionate way. Over time, they will come to realise for themselves that a sense of calm waiting and of making generous assumptions are two quiet forms of faith, the kind that can keep our hearts feeling light, our friendships steady, and our own sense of dignity intact. 

In those moments of unread silence, they will be able to remember what truly matters: not the need to be constantly answered, but the need to be constantly anchored in a state of patience, of confidence, and of a deep and sincere trust in the wisdom of Allah Almighty.