How can parents show appreciation for a child’s tech knowledge while still guiding their values and choices? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child develops impressive technological skills, it is natural for parents to want to show their appreciation, while also feeling some concern about how those skills might influence their values and behaviour. The key is to find a healthy balance: affirming your child’s knowledge and talent, without allowing that talent to override your core family principles. Acknowledging their strengths builds their confidence, while your clear guidance ensures they learn to use those abilities responsibly. 

Acknowledge Their Effort and Skill 

Make a point of saying: ‘You have learned this so quickly, that is a real talent.’ This kind of direct recognition helps children to feel seen and respected, which in turn strengthens confidence and reduces their need to prove themselves through acts of defiance. 

Separate Praise From Permission 

It is important to make it clear that your appreciation for their skill does not cancel out the family’s rules. You could say: ‘We are very proud of your ability, but how you choose to use it is what truly matters. In our family, skill and values must go hand in hand.’ This prevents children from assuming that their talent exempts them from your boundaries. 

Involve Them in Family Decisions 

Invite your tech-savvy child to help explain new apps, set up devices for the family, or teach online safety practices to their younger siblings. This approach channels pride into responsibility, showing them that their knowledge is a valuable and positive asset to the family. 

Keep Guiding Their Moral Compass 

Gently remind your child that technology is only ever a tool; it is not good or bad in itself. You could say: ‘Your tech skills show what you can do, but our family values show what you should do.’ This distinction ensures that your moral guidance is firmly in place, regardless of who is the technical expert. 

By blending sincere praise with principled direction, parents can nurture their child’s confidence while safeguarding their values, ensuring that their knowledge becomes a blessing rather than a source of arrogance. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that all of our abilities are blessings and gifts from Allah Almighty, but these gifts only bring a person true honour when they are used with sincerity and a sense of responsibility. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Qasas (28), Verses 77: 

‘ And seek (to discover) from what Allah (Almighty) has bestowed upon you for the abode in the Hereafter; and do not forget your (true) functionality in this world; and show favour (onto others) as Allah (Almighty) has shown favour upon you; and do not seek to spread (immoral) anarchy on the Earth; as indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not like those who spread (immoral) anarchy”.‘ 

This verse is a beautiful reminder that all of our blessings, including our knowledge and talents, should be used primarily to do good and to seek a reward in the Hereafter, not to cause harm or to act with arrogance. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, Allah does not look at your appearance or your wealth, but He looks at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This teaching clarifies that what matters most in the sight of Allah is not the skill itself, but the sincerity and responsibility with which it is used. 

By rooting your appreciation for your child’s talents in a sense of gratitude to Allah, and by pairing this with clear moral values, you can help them to see that real honour lies not in simply knowing more than others, but in using that knowledge to serve, to help, and to please Allah Almighty.