How can parents prepare children to speak up immediately if they receive a threatening or inappropriate message? 

Parenting Perspective 

The key to a child speaking up immediately is to build a foundation where they see seeking help as a sign of strength, not weakness. This requires proactive and ongoing conversations long before a problem ever occurs. 

Define What is Unacceptable 

From an early age, talk openly about the kinds of messages that are never okay to receive, even from friends. This includes threats, pressure to share secrets or photos, or any communication that makes them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused. Normalising this topic removes the shock and shame if it happens. 

Establish a ‘Tell Immediately’ Rule 

Create a simple, non-negotiable family rule: if you receive a message that feels wrong, you must show it to a trusted adult before you reply or delete it. Reassure them repeatedly that they will never be in trouble for coming to you, no matter what the message says or who sent it. Their safety is the only priority. 

Practise Through Role-Play 

Just like a fire drill, practising the response builds muscle memory. Gently role-play different scenarios, allowing your child to practise the steps: stop, save a screenshot if possible, and come to you immediately. This preparation turns a potential moment of panic into a calm, instinctive action. 

When children are confident that their safety is more important than avoiding “drama” or protecting someone else’s secret, they are empowered to act quickly and protect themselves. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to seek help when faced with burdens we cannot handle alone and to be proactive in addressing harm. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘ Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse can be a great source of comfort for a child who feels overwhelmed by a threatening message. It is a reminder that they are not expected to carry this frightening burden alone. Part of how Allah makes a burden bearable is by providing us with family and trusted adults to help us, and seeking their help is a sign of faith. 

Speaking up is also a form of taking responsible action against wrongdoing. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, 238, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer is the mirror of his brother. When he sees a fault in it, he should correct it.‘ 

This hadith teaches us to help one another correct faults. When a child reports a harmful message, they are acting as a “mirror” reflecting a serious wrong. By showing it to a parent, they are enabling their “brother” in faith and family to help them take the necessary steps to correct the situation and ensure their safety.