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How can parents involve a withdrawn 12-year-old in sports without it feeling like forced punishment? 

Parenting Perspective 

Forcing a quiet or introverted child into sports can increase their anxiety and backfire. The key is to frame it as an exciting opportunity for personal growth, not a punishment for being withdrawn or spending too much time indoors. 

Click below to discover meaningful books that nurture strong values in your child and support you on your parenting journey

Start with Empathy, Not Ultimatums 

Begin with an understanding and encouraging conversation. You can say, ‘I know you are comfortable and happy at home, but I also believe you have the strength to try something new that could make you feel really confident and energised’. This validates their feelings while gently introducing a new idea. 

Empower Them with Choices 

A child is far more likely to engage with an activity they have chosen themselves. Instead of enrolling them in a sport, offer them a few different options and let them decide. Ask them, ‘Which of these sounds most interesting to you: martial arts, swimming, or archery?’ Giving them control over the decision fosters enthusiasm rather than resistance. 

Choose a Supportive Environment 

When starting out, look for small, low-pressure clubs where the focus is on fun and skill-building, not intense competition. A friendly and supportive environment will help a withdrawn child feel safe enough to participate and build their confidence gradually, without the fear of judgment. 

Frame it as a Journey of Confidence 

Focus all your language on positive outcomes. Talk about the benefits of increased energy, new friendships, and a stronger body, rather than mentioning their screen time habits or shyness. Celebrate their effort and courage ‘You were so brave to join in today!’ so they begin to associate the activity with pride and encouragement. 

With this gentle, choice-driven, and positive approach, a child who once resisted the idea of sports can slowly discover a new source of self-belief and joy. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that striving to improve ourselves is a noble act and that developing our strength both physical and emotional is a quality beloved by Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69: 

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us…’ 

This verse is a beautiful promise for a child who feels anxious about trying something new. The personal “striving” they do when they step out of their comfort zone is an effort that Allah sees and rewards. It is a reminder that when we take a difficult first step for a good reason, Allah will guide us through it. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ praised the quality of strength in a believer. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both.‘ 

This hadith teaches us that developing our God-given abilities is a virtuous act. For a child, this strength is not just physical fitness; it is the emotional strength, resilience, and courage they build by facing a new challenge. By encouraging them in a healthy, halal sport, parents are helping them develop a character that is strong and beloved to Allah. 

Click below to discover meaningful books that nurture strong values in your child and support you on your parenting journey

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