Parenting Perspective 

When neighbourhood conversations revolve around who has the most wealth or the biggest house, children often absorb these materialistic values, even when they are not being spoken to directly. Because a child’s sense of identity is still developing, overhearing this kind of gossip can deeply affect how they view both themselves and their family. 

The Emotional Impact on Children 

This environment of comparison can be very damaging. 

• Shame and Insecurity: A child from a more modest family may feel embarrassed, believing their worth is diminished because of material differences. 

• Pressure to ‘Keep Up’: They may begin demanding luxury items to protect their family’s social image, creating stress for their parents. 

• Confusion of Values: Instead of valuing kindness and honesty, children may start to think that a person’s dignity depends only on their wealth. 

The Risk of Damaged Relationships 

Gossip and comparison can poison social interactions. Children may begin to avoid neighbours or peers to escape judgment, which leads to isolation. They can also internalise resentment towards their own parents for not being ‘wealthy enough’, while jealousy and rivalry may grow between children in the neighbourhood. 

How to Support a Child’s Self-Esteem 

Parents can counteract these negative influences with positive reinforcement at home. 

• Speak openly with your child, explaining that gossip often reveals more about the speaker’s insecurities than about anyone else. 

• Emphasise the dignity of honest living, regardless of the financial outcome. 

• Encourage pride in non-material strengths, such as good manners, unique skills, and strong faith. 

• Build resilience by creating family traditions that celebrate simplicity and gratitude. 

With steady guidance, parents can help their children to rise above gossip and develop a confidence that is rooted in character, not in wealth. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam issues a strong warning against both gossip (ghībah) and the arrogance that is often linked to wealth. Gossiping about another family’s financial situation not only damages community bonds but can be particularly harmful to children, who are very sensitive to such judgments. 

The Quran’s Condemnation of Gossip 

Allah Almighty uses a powerful and disturbing image in the Quran to show the severity of backbiting and how destructive it is to a person’s dignity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘…And do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all – you would find it repulsive; and so seek piety from Allah (Almighty), indeed, Allah (Almighty) is the Greatest Exonerator and the Most Merciful.’ 

This verse vividly illustrates that gossip is a major sin that harms the honour of others. 

The Prophetic Teaching on True Wealth 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that a person’s true value comes from their inner state, not from their material possessions or how they compare to their neighbours. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1051, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Richness does not lie in the abundance of wealth, but richness is the richness of the soul.’ 

This hadith teaches that true self-worth comes from inner contentment, a quality that cannot be measured by houses or cars. 

By linking a child’s dignity to their faith, effort, and gratitude, parents can help them to develop an unshakable sense of self-esteem. When neighbourhood gossip arises, a child grounded in these values can stand tall, knowing their honour is defined by Allah, not by the wealth or opinions of others.