How Can My Child Check In on a Friend Who Is Quiet Online? 

Parenting Perspective 

In the world of group chats and online games, a friend’s sudden silence can be easy to overlook. Children might assume their friend is just busy, but that silence can also be a sign that they are feeling left out, upset, or lonely. Teaching your child to check in with a quiet friend is a profound lesson in empathy, loyalty, and the ability to care for others even when a problem is not obvious. 

Explain the Importance of Reaching Out 

Help your child to see the value in this proactive form of kindness. You could explain, ‘When a friend goes quiet, sending them a small message to check in shows them that they are remembered and valued. It can make a huge difference to someone who might be feeling lonely.’ This teaches your child that kindness is proactive, not just reactive. 

Equip Them with Gentle, Low-Pressure Phrases 

Guide your child by giving them a few simple and friendly phrases they can use in a private message. You could suggest they write: 

• ‘Hey, I noticed you have been a bit quiet lately. I just wanted to check if you are okay?’ 

• ‘We missed you in the game today. Hope everything is alright.’ 

• ‘Just checking in to see how you are doing.’ 

These short, thoughtful questions show genuine care without applying any pressure for them to talk. 

Teach Them to Respect a Friend’s Privacy 

It is also important to remind your child that their friend may not want to talk about what is bothering them, and that this is okay. You can explain, ‘If they do not want to talk about it right now, we must respect that. Just knowing that you asked will still make them feel cared for.’ This teaches them to balance their kindness with respect for boundaries. 

Build Their Confidence Through Practice 

You can rehearse these sensitive situations at home to build your child’s confidence. You could role-play as the quiet friend and say, ‘I do not really feel like chatting at the moment.’ Then, guide your child to respond with, ‘That is okay. Just know that I am here if you want to talk later on.’ This practice helps to prepare them for a variety of responses. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Thoughtfulness 

When your child tells you that they have reached out to a quiet friend, be sure to celebrate their empathetic effort. A simple comment like, ‘I am so proud of you for checking in on your friend. That showed real thoughtfulness and loyalty,’ reinforces the idea that caring for others is a core value. 

By guiding these small gestures, you help your child to build the beautiful habit of noticing the feelings of others, even in the sometimes-impersonal spaces of the digital world. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great deal of importance on the duties of checking in on others, maintaining the ties of brotherhood and sisterhood, and caring for those who may feel left behind or isolated. A simple, private message of concern can be a profound act of mercy and a fulfilment of one’s duty to a fellow believer. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 71: 

‘ And the believing men and the believing women, some of them are role models for each other; where they encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and forbid (the doing of) negative (immoral actions); and they establish their prayer and make the benevolent donations – ‘Zakah’, and they (sincerely) obey (the commandments) of Allah (Almighty) and His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ); those are the people upon whom very soon Allah (Almighty) will show His infinite mercy…’ 

This verse teaches us that believers are allies who actively support one another. This support includes noticing when a friend has fallen silent or seems distant, and reaching out to ensure their well-being. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The rights of one Muslim over another are six. If you meet him, greet him with salaam; if he invites you, respond; if he seeks your advice, give it; if he sneezes and says alhamdulillah, reply yarhamuk Allah; if he falls ill, visit him; and if he dies, follow his funeral.’ 

This hadith highlights the active duty of care that Muslims owe to one another. For a child, sending a kind message to check in on a quiet friend is a modern and relevant way of fulfilling this sacred responsibility, akin to visiting one who is unwell. 

When children learn to notice and check in on a friend who has gone quiet online, they are practising the virtues of empathy, mercy, and loyalty. These digital acts of care are a direct reflection of prophetic manners and help to prepare them to build deep, compassionate, and lasting friendships throughout their lives.