How can I use my own tech use to teach my child about balance, not shame? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are quick to notice double standards, especially when parents criticise their screen habits while not holding themselves to the same standard. This can create feelings of unfairness that rarely lead to lasting change. Instead, you can use your own relationship with your device as a living, relatable example of how to manage technology thoughtfully, framing it as a shared journey rather than a one-sided lecture. 

Narrate Your Intentional Choices 

Turn your actions into teaching moments by briefly narrating your choices. When you intentionally put your phone away, you can say, ‘I am going to put this in the drawer now so I can focus completely on our meal together’. This simple act shows them the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’, turning a personal habit into a shared family value. 

Share Your Own Struggles with Honesty 

Be open about the fact that you also find it tempting to scroll for too long. Sharing your struggles in an age-appropriate way builds empathy and connection. It shows them that self-control is a skill that everyone, even adults, has to practise, not a state of perfection to be demanded. This models humility and relatability, which are far more effective than pretending to be perfect. 

Model the Joy of Healthy Breaks 

Intentionally set aside short, device-free windows during the day and, crucially, let your child see you enjoying them. Whether you are savouring a cup of tea, reading a book, or just looking out of the window, you are demonstrating that a rich and peaceful life exists beyond the screen. You are showing them that technology is just one part of life, not the whole of it. 

By treating tech management as a shared family journey, you reduce the sense of ‘us versus them’ and foster a home culture where balance is something that is learned and practised together. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values both self-discipline and humility, teaching that we should approach our own personal growth with sincerity and compassion. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse reminds us to approach self-improvement with a sense of compassion for ourselves and for others. It encourages gradual, sustainable changes rather than setting impossibly harsh standards that lead to failure and despair. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6125, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy and do not make them difficult, and give glad tidings and do not make people run away.’ 

This beautiful prophetic guidance teaches us that our approach to encouraging good habits, in ourselves and in our children, should be one that inspires hope and willingness, not fear or shame. By showing your child that you too are learning to balance your technology use with honesty and kindness, you reflect this prophetic wisdom, making it far more likely that they will adopt healthy digital habits willingly and with an open heart.