How can I tie pocket money choices to needs, wants, and waits? 

Parenting Perspective 

Pocket money can easily become a revolving door, coming in one day and disappearing on the next shiny impulse. However, with a little guidance, it can be turned into a training ground for developing wisdom. Teaching a child to separate their spending into three categories, ‘needs’, ‘wants’, and ‘waits’, can help them to build not only their financial sense, but also their emotional intelligence. It is how you can plant the seeds of discernment, of knowing the difference between what I like, what I need, and what can wait. 

This skill is not just about money; it is about character. When children learn to pause and think before they spend, they are practising the virtues of patience, gratitude, and self-control. The goal is to replace the instant thrill of buying with the steady and lasting pride that comes from choosing wisely. 

Understanding Why Children Struggle to Prioritise 

Children live in a world of instant gratification, where games, snacks, advertisements, and on-demand entertainment all promise immediate satisfaction. For them, the future can feel abstract, and the act of ‘waiting’ can feel like losing out. To counter this, you need to make the categories of spending visible and the rewards of waiting tangible. A simple phrase like, ‘Every coin has a job to do; some are to be used, some are to be saved, and some are for waiting for something special,’ can help to give their money a sense of purpose and connects the idea of choice with that of responsibility. 

How to Build the ‘Needs, Wants, and Waits’ Routine 

• Create three separate jars or envelopes. You can label them ‘Needs’ for essentials like stationery or charity, ‘Wants’ for small, fun items, and ‘Waits’ for bigger goals that require saving. This physical separation helps them to see the balance, not just to think about it. 

• Model the thought process. When they express a desire for something, you can calmly ask, ‘Is this a need, a want, or a wait?’ This helps them to reflect on their choice rather than rushing into it. 

• Build emotional meaning into each category. You can explain that ‘needs’ show a sense of responsibility, ‘wants’ show how to find joy in blessings within reason, and ‘waits’ show a sense of wisdom, of believing that good things will come in their own time. 

• Praise the decision, not just the action. When they choose to save or to spend their money wisely, it is important to acknowledge the thought process behind their action: ‘You chose to wait for that. That shows real strength and maturity.’ 

This practice helps to turn pocket money into more than just spending power; it becomes a mirror of the values you are trying to nurture in them, such as awareness, purpose, and contentment. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a sense of moderation and purpose can bring barakah (blessing) to what we own. Teaching your child to divide their allowance into ‘needs’, ‘wants’, and ‘waits’ is a small but powerful act of living this wisdom, of aligning the heart with a sense of thoughtful balance. 

Fostering Balance and Intention in Every Choice 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 26–27: 

‘And give those who are your relatives their due rights, and the needy and the traveller; and do not squander your wealth, extravagantly. Indeed, those who are extravagant (i.e. wasteful of their wealth) these are the brothers of the Satan, as the Satan has always been ungrateful to his Sustainer.‘ 

This verse calls us to both generosity and restraint, to spend our wealth with mindfulness and to avoid excess. When your child pauses to ask, ‘Is this a need, a want, or a wait?’, they are embodying this divine sense of balance: choosing gratitude over greed, and thought over impulse. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Measured Generosity 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1427, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The upper hand is better than the lower hand. The upper hand is the one that gives, and the lower hand is the one that receives.’ 

This hadith reflects the dignity that comes from mindful provision, from using our wealth in a way that uplifts others, not just ourselves. Teaching your child to manage their pocket money responsibly prepares them to one day become generous givers, people whose spending spreads benefit, not waste. Over time, these quiet financial lessons will shape something much greater: a sense of contentment that lasts.