How can I tell if my child feels I am more engaged with my phone than with them? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children frequently express feelings of being overlooked through their actions rather than direct words. You may notice them interrupting you more often when you are on your phone, making comments like, “You never listen,” or becoming withdrawn and less talkative. These can be strong indicators that they feel your attention is divided. Even subtle shifts in their mood or increased clinginess when a device is in your hand can be very telling. 

Recognising Behavioural Cues 

Pay close attention to behavioural shifts. If your child becomes irritable, uncharacteristically quiet, or suddenly acts out while you are using your phone, it is often their way of signalling a need for your presence and reconnection. 

Creating Space for Honest Conversation 

Gently asking a direct question, such as, “Do you ever feel that I spend too much time on my phone when we are together?” can create an opening for valuable feedback. The most important part is to listen without becoming defensive, which demonstrates that you value their feelings far more than the screen in your hand. 

The objective is not the complete elimination of your devices, but to reassure your child that your presence is irreplaceable and that they are your priority. 

Spiritual Insight 

From an Islamic viewpoint, a child who feels unseen by a parent can experience a weakened sense of security. Our faith emphasises the importance of being fully present and engaged with our loved ones. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mujadilah (58), Verse 11: 

‘Allah (Almighty) shall elevate those who are believers amongst you, and those people who are given the knowledge (of existential reality) in various stages…’ 

This verse reminds us that investing our time and attention in acts of faith and nurturing our relationships holds a much greater, more lasting value than the fleeting distractions of the digital world. 

It is recorded in Jami  Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders. ‘

This beautiful teaching shows that true mercy towards children includes offering them our focused attention. It is a powerful way of giving them the reassurance that they are seen, heard, and valued above any device. 

By consciously noticing their cues and responding with your undivided presence, you not only strengthen your bond but also actively nurture their emotional and spiritual well-being.