Parenting Perspective 

Children are quick to notice if parents bend the same rules that they enforce on them. When they see this inconsistency, they may begin to resist the boundaries, feeling that the rules are unfair or are only meant to control them. Teaching your child that the rules apply to everyone is essential for building respect. It shows them that discipline is not about power, but about the shared values that guide the entire family. 

Model the Rules Yourself 

The most powerful way to teach this lesson is through your own actions. If the family rule is no phones at the dinner table, then you must put your own phone away as well. If bedtime signals the start of quiet hours in the home, then you should avoid watching loud television in the next room. Children learn far more from what they consistently see than from what they are told. 

Acknowledge Your Own Mistakes 

When you inevitably slip up and break a rule yourself, it is important to admit it. A simple acknowledgement like, ‘I should not have raised my voice just now; I will try to speak more calmly,’ is a powerful lesson. This simple act shows great humility and proves that accountability applies to everyone in the family, including the parents. 

Explain the Shared Purpose 

Remind your child that the rules exist to protect and benefit the whole family, not just to restrict them. You could say, ‘The reason we have a set bedtime is because we all need to get enough sleep to be healthy and happy tomorrow.’ Linking the rules to a shared benefit helps them to feel fair and reasonable. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense importance on the principles of justice and accountability being universal. No one is considered to be above the rules, and parents must model this obedience to guidance if they expect their children to follow suit. 

Universal Accountability for All Creation 

The Quran teaches that while Allah alone is above being questioned for His actions, all of His creation, including parents and children alike, will be held responsible for what they do. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anbiyaa (21), Verses 23: 

‘ He (Allah Almighty) cannot be questioned about anything that He does; but they (mankind) will be questioned (for their actions).‘ 

Leadership as a Form of Responsibility 

The prophetic tradition frames leadership not as a position of privilege, but as one of immense accountability. This applies directly to parents in their role as guardians of the family. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be asked about his flock. The leader is a shepherd over his people, and he will be asked about them’ 

By showing your child that the rules also apply to you, you are mirroring the core Islamic values of fairness and responsibility. Your child learns that discipline is rooted in justice and love, and that their respect for you will grow stronger when they see you living by the same rules you set.