Parenting Perspective 

When a child listens only to avoid consequences, they learn compliance, not respect. True, attentive listening comes from a place of mutual regard. To nurture this, we need to shift the focus from ‘because I said so’ to creating a family culture where listening is understood as an act of love and a way to honour one another. 

Model the Respectful Listening You Seek 

The most powerful lesson you can teach is through your own actions. When your child speaks to you, put your phone down, make eye contact, and give them your full attention. This demonstrates, without a single word, that listening is an act of honouring someone. 

Connect Listening to the Health of Your Relationship 

Frame listening as something that strengthens your family. You can say, ‘When we truly listen to each other, our family feels more loving and connected. It is how we show that we value one another.’ This makes listening feel like a contribution to the family, not just a chore. 

Reinforce Listening with Gentle Guidance 

Notice their efforts. When they listen well, a simple ‘Thank you for listening so carefully’ goes a long way. If they interrupt, gently redirect them: ‘I would like to finish my thought first, and then I will listen to you.’ This teaches the give-and-take of respectful conversation. 

Emphasise That Listening is a Two-Way Street 

Consistently show that you believe listening is a mutual act. By both demanding and offering focused attention, you teach your child that respect is not a one-way demand from parent to child, but a reciprocal value that strengthens your bond and prepares them for all future relationships. 

By modelling and celebrating active listening, you teach your child that it is not about blind obedience, but about the deep respect that forms the heart of any strong relationship. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, listening is not a passive act but a deeply spiritual one. It is a sign of humility, a path to wisdom, and a fundamental component of respect. Teaching our children to listen well is to teach them a key aspect of good character (adab). 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 18: 

‘Those people that listen attentively to a saying, and then follow what is the best (content) from it; those are the people who have been guided by Allah (Almighty); and those are the people of rational understanding.‘ 

This beautiful verse defines the guided ones as those who not only listen but actively seek out and follow the best of what they hear. It elevates listening from a mere courtesy to a defining characteristic of the people of understanding. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who does not show respect to our elders and is not merciful to our young is not one of us.’ 

This hadith establishes a core principle of the Muslim community: mutual respect between generations. Attentive listening is one of the most fundamental ways we show respect to our elders and mercy to our young. 

By framing listening as a noble Islamic value rather than a mere rule, you guide your child to see it as a reflection of good character and taqwa. In time, they will realise that listening with respect is not about blind obedience but about honouring others as part of living a life of faith and dignity.