How can I teach respectful tone in family group chats? 

Parenting Perspective 

Setting Digital Manners 

Family group chats are often where children first practise written communication beyond schoolwork. Without facial expressions or the tone of a voice, words can come across as harsher than intended. Teaching a respectful tone in digital spaces is just as important as it is in face-to-face conversations. 

You should agree as a family that messages must be written with the same respect as if you were speaking in person. A simple rule, such as, “If you would not say it to their face, do not type it,” helps children check their tone before they send a message. 

Modelling Positive Communication 

As a parent, you must lead by example. Use greetings like “Assalamu Alaikum,” add kind words, and avoid abrupt or dismissive replies. Your children will mirror what they see you doing. 

You should also encourage thoughtful responses. Teach your child to pause before replying if they feel annoyed. Suggest alternatives like, “I will reply later when I feel calmer.” This prevents sarcasm or snide remarks from slipping into digital conversations. 

Respect in online communication preserves family harmony and helps children learn that kindness is a quality that applies equally in the digital world. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 18: 

‘(Man) is unable to utter a single word, without him being closely observed (and all actions being recorded), who is always present.’ 

This reminds us that every word we say, whether spoken or typed, is recorded, and respectful communication is a part of taqwa (God-consciousness). 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1570, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not abuse one another, do not invoke curses on one another, do not use foul language against one another, and do not slander one another.’ 

This teaches us that respectful language is an essential part of Islamic character, whether in speech or in writing. By teaching a respectful tone in family group chats, you show your children that Islamic values of kindness, mercy, and dignity extend into digital spaces. They learn that written words carry the same weight as spoken ones, shaping them into mindful and respectful communicators both online and offline.