Parenting Perspective 

Children often speak in a sharp or impatient tone, even when their words are not necessarily disrespectful. If a parent reacts to this with harshness, the focus of the interaction can shift from learning to fear. A more effective approach is to guide children towards respectful language in a way that teaches and corrects, rather than punishes, which helps to build their communication skills while keeping the relationship warm. 

Model the Respect You Expect 

Show your child what respectful language sounds and feels like through your own example. Instead of only correcting their tone, you can rephrase their words for them: ‘A calmer way to say that is, “I am busy right now, Mum.”’ Modelling the correct way to speak teaches them through a positive example and avoids turning the moment into a conflict. 

Use Gentle Reminders 

When your child’s tone is inappropriate, calmly point it out without shaming them. A simple, neutral comment like, ‘I heard your words, but your tone did not sound very respectful. Could you please try saying that again?’ is very effective. This keeps the focus on growth and improvement, giving your child a chance to practise and correct themselves without feeling attacked. 

Praise Efforts at Respect 

When your child makes an effort to speak respectfully, especially in a moment of frustration, make sure to notice it. A word of encouragement such as, ‘I really appreciate how calmly you asked for that just now,’ is powerful. Positive reinforcement encourages the repetition of good behaviour far more effectively than punishment does. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense weight on both our speech and our manners, urging believers to use words that are calm, respectful, and dignified. Parents are instructed to guide their children towards this high standard with mercy and patience. 

The Command to Speak What is Best 

The Quran teaches that choosing gentle and respectful words is a way of protecting relationships from the seeds of dissension that Satan tries to sow. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 53: 

‘ And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.‘ 

Good Character as a Sign of Complete Faith 

The prophetic tradition makes it clear that respectful language, especially within the home, is a direct reflection of the strength and completeness of one’s faith. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most complete of the believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their families.’ 

By teaching respectful language with patience and positive modelling, you are nurturing your child’s character in line with beautiful Islamic values. They learn that their words are not just sounds, but are powerful reflections of respect, faith, and good manners.