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How can I teach myself to pause for Tawakkul before reacting out of anger? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding the Reaction 

Anger frequently flares up when we feel powerless, such as when a child refuses to listen, when chaos breaks out, or when expectations and reality diverge. When that happens, our neurological system yells, React! Conversely, Tawakkul advocates pausing, breathing, and trusting. This is not a sign of weakness. 

Practising the Pause for Tawakkul 

The choice to centre oneself before reacting is a manifestation of spiritual consciousness. Begin by developing the practice of physically interrupting emotional outbursts. You may cover your heart with your hand. Shut your eyes. Say in a whisper, ‘Hasbiyallahu la ilaha illa Huwa’ (Allah Almighty is enough for me; there is no other deity but Him). This puts you back in the moment, but it does not make it go away. When you realise that your job is effort, not control, your anger decreases. Children are not tasks to oversee. They are souls that are unfolding, and this unfolding can only be fostered; it cannot be pushed. Additionally, Tawakkul shields your child from the pressure you put on them. Instead of panicking, you parent with greater presence when you trust Allah Almighty with the outcome. You do not have to be angry to make tough corrections. Limits can be established without resorting to fear. Most importantly, you set an example for your child by showing them that exercising self-control is a spiritual act as well as an emotional talent. This pause requires time, just like any other practice. However, every instance in which you refrain from acting on impulse teaches your child what it is to put the heart before the hand. Tawakkul is transformed from a personal virtue to a family culture in this way. 

Spiritual Insight 

Tawakkul is sometimes mistaken for passivity. However, it is always combined with action in Islam. In Surah Aal-i-Imran (3), Verse 159, Allah Almighty says: 

…And consult them in all matters (of public administration); then when you have decided (on any matter), then put your reliance upon Allah (Almighty); indeed, Allah (Almighty) loves those who are totally reliant on Him. “

The verse encourages thoughtful consideration before trust, which brings emotional intelligence into even the most trying parenting situations. This was the model of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. He made an effort, then released the result to Allah Almighty. As recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4164, he said: 

If you put your trust completely in Allah, He will provide for you as He provides for the birds, they go out hungry in the morning and return with full bellies in the evening. 

This imagery is quite consoling. The birds act rather than remaining in the nest. But they do not control what they find. Similarly, it is not your duty to entirely control your anger or refrain from taking action when it starts; rather, it is your duty to halt, act purposefully, and let the result belong to Allah Almighty. By incorporating a pause into your responses, you start to walk with Tawakkul, not just as a spiritual idea but also as a daily routine that honours you and your child. Allow remembering to be your initial response. Let your first power be trust. 

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