Parenting Perspective 

Assisting a young child in learning calming techniques starts with recognising their developmental stage. Young children and toddlers often do not have the words to communicate their feelings of frustration or fear. As a result, their distress may manifest through crying, screaming, or other physical actions. 

At this stage, children are very attuned to the emotional atmosphere around them. Having a calm and steady adult nearby can be a crucial and effective way to help them learn self-regulation. 

Modelling Calmness 

Calmness must start with the parent. 

Effective approaches include: 

• Showing slow breathing. 

• Using a gentle voice. 

• Providing steady responses. 

The child can begin to understand what calmness is and how it appears. 

Additional techniques: 

• Counting at a steady pace. 

• Repeating a brief phrase. 

• Holding a soothing item. 

Repetition is important. The child might not understand the practice right away, but consistent and gentle reinforcement helps make it familiar. 

Reinforcing Calming Habits During Peaceful Moments 

It is essential to implement calming techniques during peaceful moments, rather than waiting for a meltdown to occur. 

Helpful strategies: 

• Engage in slow breathing or ‘quiet time’ during calm periods. 

• Encourage attempts to use calming methods, not just success. 

• Use visual signals or create a ‘calm corner’ to help children take breaks. 

This gradually becomes part of their emotional language and understanding of themselves. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty has granted parents a special role in teaching emotional discipline with mercy. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), Verses 7–10: 

And by the soul and how it is designed (for infusion into the body). Thus, We have designed (the soul with discretion) for wickedness and piety. Without any doubt, success is for the one who developed purity (of the self), and indeed, failure is for the one who embraces (the darkness of ignorance and immorality). 

This highlights that even from an early age, humans are created with an internal compass that can be nurtured. Parents play a foundational role in helping children purify their responses, not through harshness, but through guidance and patience. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4807, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

Allah is gentle, likes gentleness, and gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness. 

This Hadith highlights the importance of teaching with kindness and maintaining a composed approach to discipline. 

Helping a child learn to be calm involves more than just controlling anger; it requires fostering patience and building trust within themselves. 

When parents assist children in identifying their emotions and provide strategies for handling them, they are embodying a commendable character. Over time, this method helps children to react with more awareness, responsibility, and emotional stability. 

This action demonstrates compassion, both in the immediate situation and in equipping them for the broader environment ahead.