How can I support older siblings to show respect to younger ones? 

Parenting Perspective 

Setting Clear Expectations 

Older siblings often feel they have more authority, which can sometimes lead to impatience or dismissiveness toward their younger brothers and sisters. Supporting them means teaching them that respect is a two-way street; even though they are older, they still owe gentleness and fairness to their younger siblings. In this context, respect does not mean giving up their role as a guide but showing care through their words, tone, and actions. 

You should explain to your older child that leadership in a family is built on kindness, not harshness. You can say, “Being older means your younger sibling looks up to you, so your words must be respectful too.” 

Encouraging Gentle Responsibility 

You should also praise their positive behaviour. When you notice an older sibling guiding with patience, helping with homework, including them in a game, or correcting them kindly, make sure to highlight it. You can say, “I loved how you explained that without getting angry. That is what real respect looks like.” 

Additionally, you can give your older children opportunities to support their younger ones, such as reading to them or helping them with small tasks. These moments teach them that respect is shown through service, not dominance. By framing respect as an essential part of their role, you help older siblings see that authority and kindness go hand in hand. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 24: 

‘And spread over them (your) auspices with humility and mercy; (and plead for them and) say: “O my Sustainer, have mercy (and forgiveness) on both of them, because they have nurtured me when I was a child”.’ 

This verse reminds us that mercy and humility are essential in all family relationships, especially from those in stronger positions towards those who are younger or weaker. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.’ 

This teaches us that older siblings have a duty to treat younger ones with mercy, just as they expect respect in return. By guiding older siblings to show respect through mercy, patience, and service, you connect their behaviour to the core values of Islam. They learn that their position in the family is not about superiority but about setting an example in kindness. This nurtures love and harmony between siblings and strengthens their shared bond of faith.