How can I support a child with ADHD to recognise frustration? 

Parenting Perspective 

Help Them Notice the Physical Signs 

Children with ADHD often feel frustration bubbling up before they even realise what is happening. Their mind might jump from one thought to another, or they may feel stuck when things do not go as planned. This can lead to outbursts, shouting, or giving up quickly. The first step is to help your child notice what frustration feels like inside their body. Use calm words: ‘When you feel your face get hot or your hands feel tight, that might be a sign of frustration.’ 

Create a ‘Pause Plan’ 

Practise naming these signs when your child is calm, not in the middle of an outburst. You can draw faces or use a feelings thermometer to show how frustration can grow. Create simple ‘pause plans’ for when they notice the signs, such as taking deep breaths, squeezing a stress toy, or stepping away for a moment. Keep the steps short and realistic. Praise them every time they try, even if it only works for a few seconds.¹ Be patient if they need reminding repeatedly; this is part of how their mind learns to spot the feeling before it gets too big. Over time, these tiny steps will help your child feel more in control and proud of handling their frustration in a safer way. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours effort and patience, especially when we are trying to control strong feelings. Allah Almighty knows every struggle, even the ones we feel inside that others cannot see. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.‘

Explain to your child that trying to notice frustration and calm it down is a sign of inner strength that Allah Almighty loves. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2609a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who can overpower others; the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry. ‘

Encourage your child to make a small Dua when they feel frustration building: ‘Ya Allah, help me calm my heart and think clearly.’ This gentle habit reminds them that they are not alone in their struggle; Allah Almighty sees their effort and rewards every tiny step towards self-control. With your patient support, your child will learn that frustration does not have to control them; they can learn to notice it, name it, and handle it with quiet courage.