Parenting Perspective 

Anchor Yourself First 

Sibling fights can escalate quickly and loudly, pushing all of your emotional buttons. Your calmness is not just about keeping the peace in the moment; it is a model your children will absorb for life. The more explosive they become, the more your composure matters. 

The first step is internal. When yelling starts, do not rush in immediately. Unless someone is in physical danger, take a brief pause even five seconds to breathe and collect yourself. Quietly say in your mind, “I am safe. I am steady. I can lead.” This simple act helps to deactivate your stress response before you react. 

Interrupting the Energy 

Instead of storming in with commands, disrupt the emotional energy with a low, firm tone. Try saying, “Everyone stop. Breathe. We are taking a pause.” Avoid sharp questioning or blame in the moment, as that will only fuel defensiveness. 

You should also use physical cues: kneel to their level and lower your voice. Speak less, but with more clarity. A good example is, “We will talk when voices are calm.” Then, you must hold this boundary, even if they test it. Over time, they will learn that escalation ends with calm, not with winning an argument. 

Creating a calming cue for yourself, like a Du’a (supplication) or grounding phrase, can be very helpful. Repeating this phrase before stepping in helps you become a calm responder rather than a reactive participant. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘…They suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

This verse reminds us that the ability to stay calm and forgive in moments of tension is not a sign of weakness; it is a quality beloved by Allah Almighty. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 45, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who is good at wrestling, but the one who controls himself in a fit of rage.’ 

This teaches us that true strength is not in overpowering others but in managing our own emotions when we are provoked. 

When you stay calm during your children’s conflicts, you are not just preventing a fight; you are planting the seeds of self-control, compassion, and spiritual strength. Your silence in the storm teaches more than any lecture ever could.