Parenting Perspective 

It can be exhausting and disheartening when a child ignores a rule repeatedly. While anger is a natural response to this frustration, shouting often makes the situation worse by shifting the focus from the rule to the conflict. A more effective approach relies on structure, clarity, and calm consistency, which are tools that help you to maintain control without losing your temper. 

Use Prepared Responses 

Have a short, calm, and clear phrase ready for when the rule is broken. This prevents you from reacting emotionally in the heat of the moment. Examples include: 

• ‘We have already discussed this, and you know the consequence.’ 

• ‘I am not going to argue; I will simply follow through on what we agreed.’ 

Repeating the same neutral phrase helps you to remain steady and avoids escalating the situation into an argument. 

Step Back and Let Consequences Work 

Instead of arguing or repeating your instructions, calmly apply the agreed-upon consequence and then step back. For example, if the rule was about finishing screen time and it is broken, remove the device without further debate. This allows the consequence itself to deliver the message far more powerfully than repeated warnings. 

Regulate Yourself in the Moment 

If you feel your anger rising, give yourself a micro-break. You can do this by taking a few slow, deep breaths, counting to ten, or briefly stepping out of the room to reset. Returning to the situation with a calm mind prevents a shouting match and models emotional control for your child. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that self-control and patience are defining qualities of a believer, especially when faced with moments of frustration in daily life. 

The Virtue of Restraining Anger 

The Quran praises those who, despite having cause for anger, are able to restrain themselves and offer pardon. This act is described as a characteristic of those who do good and are beloved to Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 134: 

‘ Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.‘ 

The True Meaning of Strength 

The prophetic tradition redefines strength not as physical power over others, but as the spiritual and emotional power one has over oneself. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who throws others down, but the strong person is the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

By staying calm when your child ignores rules, you are not only protecting your relationship but also modelling prophetic patience. Your child learns that discipline is about responsibility and respect, not about anger or fear, which is a lesson that strengthens both family bonds and faith.