How can I show my own healthy way of handling rejection? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children learn far more from what they observe in us than from what they are told. If you want them to develop resilience in the face of rejection, the most powerful tool you have is your own example. When they see you respond to personal setbacks with dignity, calmness, and perspective, they will naturally absorb those patterns of behaviour. Your response teaches them that rejection, though painful, does not have to define their worth or erase their hope for the future. 

Share Your Feelings Honestly 

When you experience a rejection, whether it is a job application, a dismissed idea, or a plan that does not work out, avoid hiding it completely. Share your feelings in a calm and age-appropriate manner. 

• ‘I felt disappointed today because something I had hoped for did not happen.’ 

• ‘It stung a little when my suggestion was not chosen at work.’ 

This normalises rejection as a human experience that happens even to adults. 

Model Calm and Resilient Language 

The words you choose to use in the face of disappointment become your child’s reference point for their own setbacks. 

• Instead of, ‘This is terrible, I will never succeed,’ try saying, ‘This was tough, but I will try again in a different way.’ 

• Instead of, ‘Why do people never choose me?’, you could say, ‘It seems it was not my turn this time, but I will keep moving forward.’ 

These phrases demonstrate patience, hope, and a problem-solving mindset. 

Demonstrate Constructive Coping Strategies 

Allow your child to see how you process rejection in healthy and constructive ways. By doing this openly, you provide them with a ‘toolbox’ for their own future challenges. 

• Take a short walk to clear your mind. 

• Write down your feelings in a journal. 

• Speak kindly to yourself out loud: ‘It did not work out this time, but I am still capable and I will be okay.’ 

Frame Rejection as a Learning Opportunity 

Show your child how you can extract valuable lessons from a setback without becoming bitter or resentful. This models true resilience, reframing rejection as a stepping stone rather than an ending. 

• ‘I think this experience has taught me what I can do better next time.’ 

• ‘This rejection has given me a chance to grow and improve.’ 

Let Them See Your Persistence 

Involve them in the process of you trying again. When they witness your determination firsthand, they learn that persistence is a natural and valuable response to being turned down. 

• If you decide to apply for something again, let them see your resolve. 

• If you practise a skill after a setback, you can tell them, ‘I am working on this so I can be better prepared for the next opportunity.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that rejection and setbacks are not an assault on our dignity, but rather an opportunity to cultivate patience and deepen our reliance on Allah Almighty. When you show your child how you handle rejection with faith, you anchor their own approach in a source of profound spiritual strength. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Taghaabun (64), Verse 11: 

‘And no calamity befalls (upon mankind) except with the permission of Allah (Almighty); and those who believe in Allah (Almighty), He guides his heart (towards the truth); and Allah (Almighty) is Omniscient of everything.’ 

This verse teaches us that every disappointment or rejection occurs with Allah’s knowledge and wisdom. For a believer, these moments become a means through which Allah guides the heart towards greater patience and trust. 

It is recorded in Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 841, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Know that what has passed you was never going to befall you, and what has befallen you was never going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and ease with hardship.’ 

This hadith is a powerful reassurance that rejection is not a random loss, but a part of Allah’s perfect decree for us. It also instils hope by reminding us that relief and success are the certain outcomes of patience. 

By modelling a calm and faithful response to your own rejections, you teach your child that their self-worth is never shaken by the decisions of others. They will learn that what truly matters is their effort, their patience, and their unwavering trust in Allah.