Parenting Perspective 

It is important to find a balance between showing love and setting clear boundaries to support a child’s emotional growth. It is important for children to feel appreciated and secure while they understand that expressing anger inappropriately is not acceptable. Effective communication, understanding, and steady boundaries establish this equilibrium. 

Start by recognising feelings: I understand that you are upset, and I value your emotions. Next, clearly state the boundary: It is unacceptable to shout or cause harm. Maintain your calm and impartiality. 

Implement strategies that are suitable for the individual’s age: 

• Young children might find it helpful to use visual aids such as calm-down cards. 

• Older children can benefit from practising timed breathing exercises or taking moments for reflection. 

After managing emotions, strengthen the connection: provide a comforting gesture or speak in a gentle, kind manner. Continue by participating in a shared activity such as reading together, having calm discussions, or taking on joint responsibilities. 

This helps the child understand that love remains constant, even when their behaviour needs to be addressed. This method fosters emotional trust and promotes respect and self-discipline. 

As time goes on, blending understanding with limits allows the child to grasp the importance of clear communication and the comfort of unconditional love. This approach steers them towards emotionally healthy relationships and enduring connections. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty has revealed that mercy is built into creation. In Surah Yunus (10), Verse 107, He says: 

‘And if Allah (Almighty) were to afflict you with any calamity, so there is no one that can alleviate that for you except Him; and if He (Allah Almighty) desires goodness for you, then there is no one who can repel His benefactions… ‘

This verse highlights that compassion and strong care come from Divine wisdom, which is balanced by mercy. 

It is narrated in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4294 that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said: 

‘On the day when He created the heavens and the earth, Allah created one hundred (degrees of) mercy, of which He placed one on earth, by virtue of which mothers show compassion to their children and animals as well as the birds show compassion to one another. And He kept back ninety-nine (degrees of) mercy. When the Day of Resurrection comes, Allah will complete this mercy. ‘

This Hadith emphasises the important balance between providing strong guidance and showing caring love. Allah Almighty’s method is based on mercy and fairness. When you establish boundaries with care, you reflect this harmonious balance. 

Encourage your child with a brief Dua:

‘ O Allah, help me to be gentle yet steadfast, showing care and guidance in every moment. ‘

By incorporating discipline within a nurturing relationship, you demonstrate emotional strength and spiritual elegance, showing them that genuine love involves the willingness to provide guidance, even during challenging emotions.