How can I reward emotional growth rather than just good behaviour?

Emotional growth is deeply connected to the Islamic principles of Sabr (patience), Adl (fairness), and Ihsan (doing one’s best). Children learning to hold their emotions with dignity are embodying aspects of these virtues. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 10: ‘…Those people that were resilient shall be rewarded with what is their due, without any limitations.’ When a parent encourages self-discipline, they are assisting their child in getting ready for a life filled with moral accountability. Sometimes, it’s not the big wins that count, but the quiet choices we make within ourselves. Recognising and appreciating small acts of emotional control and kindness reflects the Prophetic example, who emphasised the importance of personal improvement before addressing external issues.

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2003, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated:
‘Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed, the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.’ This Hadith indicates that understanding one’s emotions and acting with integrity is an integral part of Islamic learning and emotional intelligence development. When parents recognise these efforts, they foster character in a manner that supports both practical wellbeing and lasting benefits.