How can I repair trust if my child stops coming to me because I am ‘always busy’ on a device? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child stops coming to you with their thoughts because they see you as ‘always busy’ on a device, it is a clear sign that they feel a gap in your emotional availability. Repairing this requires a gentle and intentional approach. The first and most important step is to acknowledge their perspective without becoming defensive. A simple, heartfelt apology like, ‘I am so sorry I have made you feel that way. I always want to hear what is on your mind’, can begin to reopen the door. However, it is your actions in the following days that will truly rebuild the trust. 

Rebuild Trust Through Consistent Action 

You must create visible signals that you are prioritising them. This could mean physically putting your phone down the moment they approach you, or saying, ‘Let me just finish this sentence, and then I am all yours’, and then immediately keeping that promise. Trust is rebuilt through consistency. Giving them small pockets of unhurried, undistracted attention each day will teach them, through your actions, that they matter more than any notification. Over time, this will reassure them that you are emotionally available, even if you sometimes have to be digitally connected. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions)…‘ 

This verse powerfully reminds us that trust (amanah) is a sacred responsibility we must not betray. In the context of parenting, this trust includes being emotionally and mentally present for our children, especially when they come to us seeking connection. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad $ﷺ$ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when angry.’ 

This Hadith redefines strength as self-control. This includes having control over our impulse to constantly check a device when our family needs us. A child coming to us with their feelings is a profound trust. Protecting this amanah means guarding our attention and proving that our hearts are open to them, which is an act of true strength.