Parenting Perspective 

A child who is perfectly well-behaved at home might struggle in a new social setting, not out of defiance, but from a simple lack of understanding. The rules of the playground are different from the rules of the masjid. Our role is to prepare them for these shifts, giving them the confidence to navigate different environments with respect and grace. 

Talk About Expectations in Advance 

Before you go to a new place, give your child a simple and clear preview. You can say, ‘Today we are visiting an elderly auntie, so we will use our quiet voices and gentle hands.’ Knowing what is expected beforehand removes anxiety and sets them up for success. 

Practise and Rehearse 

Use playful role-playing at home to build their social muscle memory. You can practise how to politely greet an elder or how to sit patiently during a talk. Rehearsing in a safe space makes it much easier for them to access these skills in a real, and sometimes overwhelming, social situation. 

Acknowledge Their Efforts Afterwards 

After the event, notice and praise their good conduct. Say, ‘I was so proud of how respectfully you sat during the khutbah today.’ If they struggled, discuss it gently: ‘That was a long time to sit still. Next time, let us try bringing a quiet book for you.’ 

Teach the Skill of Adaptability 

By preparing them for different situations, you are teaching them the important life skill of social adaptability. They learn that being respectful means being aware of their environment and adjusting their behaviour accordingly, a sign of true emotional maturity. 

This approach helps your child feel confident and prepared, able to show kindness and dignity wherever they go. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that good manners (adab) are not confined to the home or the mosque; they are a reflection of our faith in every setting. Guiding a child to adapt their behaviour respectfully is to teach them how to live their faith in the wider world. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 2: 

‘ O you who are believers, do not raise your voices above the voice of Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); or be vociferous in your speech like the way you are coarse with each other; in which case your good deeds shall be sequestrated; and you remain unaware (of the extent of the sanctity of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ).‘ 

This verse, which commands a specific etiquette in the presence of the Prophet ﷺ, teaches a universal principle: different contexts require different levels of decorum. Learning to lower our voices and show reverence in sacred or formal settings is a sign of faith. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not of us who does not have mercy on our young and does not respect our elders.’ 

This hadith reminds us that our conduct should be tailored to whom we are with. Showing mercy to the young requires a different approach than showing respect to our elders. This is the essence of social and spiritual intelligence. 

By preparing your child for different expectations, you are teaching them that good manners are not fixed to one place but are part of living Islam in every environment. Over time, they will see that adapting with respect is a strength that earns both people’s admiration and Allah Almighty’s pleasure.