How can I praise digital restraint so it sticks? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children or teens show restraint putting away a device when asked, stopping after one episode, or choosing not to check notifications it is a moment worth praising. But the way you praise matters. If it feels shallow or exaggerated, it will not last. Praise that is specific, respectful, and tied to their growing maturity helps digital restraint become part of their identity.

 

Be Specific and Immediate 

Point out exactly what they did well. This tells them what to repeat in the future. 

• ‘You stopped right when the timer went off. That showed great self-control.’ 

• ‘I saw you put the phone aside without me asking. That was thoughtful.’ 

Link It to Maturity and Trust 

Show that restraint earns them more independence. When children see digital restraint as a sign of growing up, they are motivated to repeat it. 

• ‘That choice shows I can trust you more with your screen time.’ 

• ‘You handled it responsibly, like a young adult.’ 

Connect to Peace and Family Benefit 

Help them see how their action improved the moment. This shows restraint is not just about rules, but about real benefits. 

• ‘Because you switched off calmly, dinner felt peaceful for everyone.’ 

• ‘You ended the game on time, so we had more time to talk.’ 

Celebrate Quietly, Not Over-the-Top 

Teens especially resist exaggerated praise. Keep your tone warm and sincere so it feels genuine. 

A mini-dialogue example: 

Child: (puts device away without fuss) 

Parent: ‘Thank you for stopping right on time. That showed real self-control, and it made our evening calmer.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Praising restraint connects directly to the Islamic value of self-control. Islam teaches us that strength is not about doing whatever we want, but about knowing when to stop. 

Self-Control as Strength 

This reminds us that restraining desires even small ones like digital urges is a path to success with Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Naaziaat (79), Verses 40-41: 

‘ But as for those who have feared (for the time) when they will be standing before their Sustainer, and restrained their sole from immoral desires; then indeed, Paradise shall be there sanctuary.’ 

The Prophet ﷺ on True Strength 

This Hadith shows that real strength lies in inner discipline, not outward force. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2609, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who overpowers others. The strong man is the one who controls himself when angry.‘ 

By praising digital restraint with sincerity and clarity, you help your child connect self-control to maturity, peace, and faith. Over time, they will see that restraint is not about losing fun, but about gaining strength and dignity in both family life and worship.