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How can I model self-control while disciplining, even when I feel disrespected or triggered? 

Parenting Perspective 

It hurts to be treated disrespectfully by a child, especially when we are worn out, overburdened, or giving it our all. However, the capacity to respond rather than react is your greatest parenting strength at that precise moment. Pausing is the first act of self-control. Take a deep breath and tell yourself, I am the adult here, even though I am feeling triggered. By being conscious of oneself, escalation can be prevented before it starts. Children do not need perfect parents. They require ones that are regulated. You are modelling something profound: emotional mastery, when you say, I need a moment to think before I respond, or you hold a steady tone instead of snapping, or you lower your voice instead of raising it. You are teaching your child that even when we feel disrespected, we can still choose to act with dignity and that strong emotions do not always translate into negative behaviour. This teaches far more than any punishment ever could. 

Spiritual Insight 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was subjected to personal attacks, public rejection, and insults, but his responses were always grounded in divine poise. He refused to let the actions of others detract from his prophetic character. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

The strong is not the one who can overpower others, but the one who controls himself when angry. 

Emotional control is elevated as a noble kind of power by this reinterpretation of strength, a form that transforms homes and hearts. Allah Almighty Himself models restraint in His mercy. Despite being All-Powerful, He continues to give chances, to delay punishment, to invite return. In Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43, He says: 

And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination. 

According to this verse, forgiveness and patience are not seen as passive qualities but rather as indicators of true spiritual power, or ‘Ulu al-‘azm,’ the kind of unwavering resolution that only the strongest hearts can sustain. When you discipline your child with self-control, you are modelling values as well as teaching them. You are showing your child the same patience and mercy that you want to receive from Allah Almighty. You transform ordinary parenting into a holy act of worship at that particular time. 

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