Parenting Perspective 

Our children learn most about emotional regulation by watching us navigate our own stress. When we are tired, rushed, or overwhelmed, our words leave a lasting impression. If we snap, they learn that stress is an excuse for harshness. If we remain measured, they learn that respect is a choice we can make even under pressure. Modelling this is not about being perfect, but about demonstrating self-control and repairing our mistakes. 

Pause and Choose Your Words 

When you feel your frustration rising, the most powerful thing you can do is pause. Taking a single, deep breath before you speak can be the difference between a reaction and a response. This small gap shows your child that emotions do not have to control our words. 

Name Your Feelings Calmly 

It is healthy to be honest about your feelings, as long as it is done respectfully. Saying, ‘I am feeling very overwhelmed right now and I need a moment of quiet, please,’ models healthy emotional expression and teaches your child how to state their own needs without shouting. 

Apologise for Your Mistakes 

If you do slip up and speak harshly, a swift and sincere apology is crucial. Saying, ‘I should not have used that tone of voice. I am sorry. Let me try that again,’ not only mends the immediate hurt but also teaches the invaluable lesson of accountability. 

Narrate Your Successes 

When you successfully manage a stressful moment with calm, you can gently point it out later. For example, ‘I was feeling very stressed earlier, but I am glad I took a breath and spoke calmly.’ This helps them see respectful communication as a successful and rewarding strategy. 

Through this consistent modelling of restraint, honesty, and accountability, you show your child that respect is not just a rule for them, but a core value that your entire family lives by. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, our character is most truly tested in moments of difficulty. The ability to speak with kindness and respect, even when under pressure, is held up as a sign of mature faith and self-control. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.‘ 

This beautiful verse lists restraining anger alongside spending in charity and pardoning others as a quality of those whom Allah loves. It teaches us that emotional control is an act of goodness on par with generosity. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2507, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer who mixes with people and is patient with their harm has a greater reward than the one who does not mix with people and is not patient with their harm.’ 

This hadith highlights the immense reward for being patient with others, even when we are tested. Remaining gentle and steadfast in stressful social situations is not just good manners, but a path to a greater reward from Allah. 

By showing respectful language even in stressful moments, you not only strengthen your relationship with your child but also live out the prophetic example, where kindness and self-control are marks of true strength.