How can I model respectful acceptance of instructions myself? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children learn far more from what they see than from what they are told. If you want them to respond respectfully to your instructions, it is crucial that you model this behaviour yourself. Whether you are responding to a request from an elder, a spouse, or even a professional responsibility, your reactions set the standard that your child will learn to follow. 

Show Willingness in Everyday Moments 

When your spouse or your own parent asks you to do something, try to respond in a positive and willing manner. Simple phrases like, ‘Of course, I will do that right away,’ or ‘Thank you for the reminder,’ show your children that responding politely is a natural and normal part of family life, not something that is forced. 

Avoid Complaints or Sarcasm 

If you are asked to take on a task you do not particularly want to do, resist the urge to grumble, sigh, or roll your eyes. Instead, try to maintain a steady tone and a positive demeanour. This teaches your child that respect is not about whether you like every instruction, but about maintaining dignity in your response. 

Reflect Aloud When Appropriate 

You can also verbalise your thought process to help your child understand the principle behind your actions. You might say, ‘I did not really feel like doing that just now, but it is important to me to always answer kindly because respect matters in our family.’ This helps them to see that respect is a conscious choice of character, not just a reflection of your mood. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a core part of faith is to listen to and obey righteous guidance with a sense of humility and acceptance. A parent who models this quality in their own life is teaching a profound spiritual lesson. 

The Believer’s Response: ‘We Hear and We Obey’ 

The Quran describes the statement of the true believers, when called to the guidance of Allah and His Messenger, as one of immediate and willing acceptance. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verses 51: 

‘ Indeed, the statement of the believers has always been, when there are summoned (to the pathways directed by) Allah (Almighty) and His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), to arbitrate between them; then they say: “We hear and we obey”, and those are the successful (people).‘ 

The Duty of Listening and Obeying 

The prophetic tradition teaches that listening to and obeying rightful authority, as long as it does not involve sin, is a necessary part of faith and discipline. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is obligatory for a Muslim to listen and obey (the ruler) whether he likes it or not, as long as it is not sinful.’ 

By modelling the respectful acceptance of instructions yourself, you are showing your children that obedience with dignity is a lifelong value, not just a rule for childhood. They learn that respect is an integral part of faith, woven into the way we respond to guidance from parents, elders, and those in authority, which helps to shape their own character.