How can I manage my emotions better when my child’s behaviour pushes my limits? 

Parenting Perspective 

The First Step: Self-Awareness 

Self-awareness is the first step towards emotional management. When your child’s actions start to push you to the limit, take a moment to notice what emotions are rising inside of you, such as annoyance, tiredness, or a fear of losing control. Take a deep breath and silently identify your internal state before taking action. This little silence allows you to think through your response instead of responding hastily. 

Reframing Your Child’s Behaviour 

Reframe the situation; instead of being an act of defiance, most misbehaviour is an expression of unfulfilled desires. Children are attempting to be understood, not to test your patience. 

Modelling a Grounded Response 

If necessary, take a moment to gather yourself. Return with a softened face, solid posture, and a quiet tone. This is leadership, not weakness. Children are more inclined to imitate in the future when they witness that intense emotions can be handled with grounded presence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Controlling anger is a praised virtue. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aal-i-Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (believers are the ones) that …suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.‘

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is he who controls himself when angry.‘

Parenting while controlling emotions is both a challenge and a way to become closer to Allah Almighty.