How can I make gratitude a habit without forcing it? 

Parenting Perspective 

Gratitude develops best when it feels natural and sincere, rather than when it is demanded or forced. If a child is constantly told to ‘Say thank you!’ in a rigid manner, they may learn to say the words without feeling the emotion behind them. The goal is to weave the practice of gratitude into daily life so that it becomes a natural response, rooted in genuine appreciation. 

Model Gratitude in Everyday Moments 

Let your child consistently hear you expressing gratitude in your own life. This can be as simple as saying ‘Alhamdulillah’ for small blessings, sincerely thanking a shopkeeper, or showing appreciation to other family members. When children see gratitude as a normal and frequent part of your daily speech, they will naturally begin to imitate it. 

Create a Culture of Appreciation at Home 

Incorporate moments of reflection into your family routine, such as at mealtimes or before bed. You can gently encourage this by asking, ‘What is one thing you felt thankful for today?’ Keeping these moments light and positive helps children to associate gratitude with joy and reflection, rather than with pressure or obligation. 

Praise Sincere Efforts 

When your child expresses gratitude of their own accord, no matter how small the instance, make sure to acknowledge it. A quiet word of praise like, ‘I really liked how you said thank you to your sister for sharing her toy with you,’ reinforces the behaviour and shows them that their effort is valued and meaningful. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that gratitude (shukr) is both a fundamental duty and a powerful source of blessings. However, for it to be accepted and rewarded, it must be offered with sincerity, not as a mechanical or empty gesture. 

Gratitude as a Benefit to Oneself 

The Quran teaches that the ultimate beneficiary of gratitude is the person who expresses it. Being thankful nurtures the soul, brings contentment, and aligns one with the wisdom of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verses 12: 

‘And indeed, We (Allah Almighty) fortified (Prophet) Luqman (AS) with the wisdom that: “Gratitude is for Allah (Almighty); and whoever is (truly) grateful (to Allah Almighty) is in fact grateful for his (own benefit); and whoever rejects (the idea of being grateful, then know that) indeed, Allah (Almighty) is Eternally Independent and the All Praiseworthy”.‘ 

Gratitude Through Perspective 

The prophetic tradition guides us on how to cultivate a grateful heart by shifting our perspective away from what others have and towards the blessings we possess. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4142, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Look at those who are below you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you do not belittle the favour of Allah upon you.’ 

By teaching gratitude through your own example and gentle reflection, you show your child that thankfulness is not just about saying certain words, but about developing a particular way of seeing the world. Over time, they will grow to say ‘Alhamdulillah’ with sincerity, finding true joy in being grateful.