Parenting Perspective 

Our phones are often constant companions, but their mere presence during a couple’s debrief, even a short one, can divide attention and reduce the quality of the connection. Leaving your phone outside the room for just ten or fifteen minutes sends a powerful signal to your spouse that they have your undivided attention. The challenge is to do this without feeling anxious about missed messages or making it seem like an impractical rule. 

Set Clear Boundaries Around Time 

Start with short, predictable, and manageable blocks of time. You could agree, for example: ‘For the first fifteen minutes after dinner, let us put our phones away and just talk’. Knowing there is a clear limit makes the habit feel realistic and sustainable. 

Create a ‘Parking Spot’ for Your Phones 

Choose a neutral location, such as a shelf in the hallway or a charging station in the kitchen, where your phones can ‘rest’ during your time together. This physical separation helps you to mentally switch your focus and avoids the temptation to quickly check a notification. 

Reassure Children and Family 

If children or other relatives are used to instant responses and feel worried by a delay, explain your new rule gently. You can say, ‘This is just Mum and Dad’s time to talk. We will check our messages right after’. With consistency, they will learn that this window of time is important but temporary. 

Value Quality Over Quantity 

A short, uninterrupted ten minutes of deep presence can be more meaningful and connecting than half an hour of distracted listening. Affirm this to each other by saying, ‘This time together matters more than any notification’. 

By creating this physical separation from your phone, you are showing your spouse, and your children who are watching, that relationships deserve full and undivided attention. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to prioritise what is truly important and to be guardians of both our time and our relationships. Even useful tools like mobile phones can become harmful distractions if they are not managed with wisdom and discipline. 

A Quranic Reminder on the Value of Time 

The Quran reminds us that time is our most precious commodity, and that we will be at a loss if we do not invest it wisely in our faith and our relationships. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 1-3: 

‘ By the (design of) time (by Allah Almighty); indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience. ‘ 

This reminds us that investing time in our relationships is an act of faith that protects us from loss. 

The Prophetic Teaching on True Value 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that a person’s true richness is not found in their possessions or worldly tools, but in their inner state. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6446, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘True wealth is not through excessive riches, but true wealth is the wealth of the soul.’ 

This teaches us that worldly devices cannot replace the value of sincere presence, which is a quality of a rich and content soul. 

By leaving your phone outside during your time as a couple, you are aligning your daily habits with the Islamic value of prioritising relationships over worldly distractions. Your children learn from this example that love, attention, and presence are the real treasures worth protecting.