How can I involve my child in creating a post-meltdown repair routine? 

Parenting Perspective 

The moments after a meltdown are a crucial time for reconnection and learning. By creating a ‘repair routine’ together, you can transform the aftermath of a conflict into a constructive, and even bonding, experience. 

Invite Them into the Process 

Once everyone is calm, invite your child to help you create a ‘repair plan’ for the future. You could use gentle, non-judgemental language like, ‘We all get upset sometimes. Let’s think of a plan for how we can feel better afterwards.’ This gives them a sense of agency. 

Explore What Helps Them Reset 

Ask open-ended questions to understand what truly helps them. For example, ‘When you are feeling sad, what makes you feel a little better?’ Their answers might surprise you. By incorporating their preferences, they are much more likely to engage with the plan. 

Make the Routine Predictable 

Once you agree on a few simple steps, practise them during calm moments so the routine feels familiar. This predictability reassures your child that conflict can always be repaired and trust can be rebuilt, making future meltdowns feel less frightening. 

By involving your child, you turn the post-meltdown stage from a tense aftermath into a shared opportunity for learning and connection. 

Spiritual Insight 

The act of repairing relationships after a conflict is a deeply Islamic value. It promotes mercy, empathy, and the restoration of trust, which are foundational to a healthy family and community. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘The believers are but brothers, so make settlement between your brothers. And fear Allah that you may receive mercy…’ 

This reminds us that actively mending relationships and fostering unity is an act of piety that invites the mercy of Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6077, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is not permissible for a Muslim to forsake his brother for more than three nights, each of them turning away from the other when they meet. The better of the two is the one who is the first to greet the other.’ 

This teaches us the importance of being proactive in repairing our bonds and not allowing resentment or distance to linger. 

When you involve your child in creating a repair routine, you model humility, forgiveness, and active problem-solving, qualities that will strengthen both your relationship and their moral character.