How can I help when playground pushing is reported every few days? 

Parenting Perspective 

When you hear another report that your child has been pushing others in the playground, it can feel both embarrassing and worrying. You may fear being judged by other parents or feel unsure of how to correct the behaviour without crushing your child’s spirit. However, repeated physical behaviour like pushing often signals unmet emotional needs or underdeveloped social skills, not cruelty. The goal is to guide your child towards empathy and self control, not through punishment, but through connection and consistent boundaries. 

Understand What the Pushing Communicates 

Children often use physical actions to express emotions they cannot yet put into words. Pushing can stem from excitement, frustration, or even anxiety about joining in with play. It can also be a way of testing boundaries. The first step is to understand the emotion that lies beneath the action. Calmly ask your child: 

‘What happened just before you pushed? Were you feeling upset, left out, or were you trying to join in the game?’ 

When children feel safe enough to talk about their motives, they are more open to learning alternative ways to behave. 

Teach Alternatives to Physical Reactions 

Simply telling a child not to push is an incomplete instruction. They need to be taught specific replacement skills. 

• If they are angry: Teach them to walk away, count to five, or find an adult to help. 

• If they are excited: Help them to express it with words, such as ‘I want to play!’, or with gestures like a friendly wave. 

• If they are anxious: Role play gentle ways to approach others and join in with their games. 

By showing your child what to do, you give their impulse a safe outlet rather than simply demanding that they control it. 

Partner with the School for a Consistent Approach 

Contact the teacher or playground supervisor to ensure that home and school are using the same calm approach. A shared response, one that is immediate but not punitive, helps your child to experience predictable boundaries. Ask that your child be guided to make amends, not merely be reprimanded. Making amends might include apologising or helping the child they pushed, which reinforces empathy through action. 

Spiritual Insight 

A child’s repeated mistakes are moments that test a parent’s patience and wisdom. Islam calls on parents to correct their children firmly yet with mercy, knowing that guidance takes time and consistency. 

Compassion and Restraint in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you…’ 

This verse reminds us that gentleness, not severity, is what brings hearts together. When you address your child’s behaviour with patience and softness, you keep their heart open to your guidance. Discipline that is delivered with mercy nurtures the conscience far more effectively than discipline that is based on fear. 

Guiding Young Hearts in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4943, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Show mercy to those on the earth, and the One above the heavens will show mercy to you.’ 

This Hadith teaches that showing mercy invites divine mercy. When you handle your child’s mistakes with compassion, balancing accountability with kindness, you are embodying prophetic parenting. You are teaching your child through your own example that strength is best expressed through gentleness and care for others. 

When a child repeatedly pushes others, it is not a sign of failure, but a sign that a skill, that of emotional regulation, is still being formed. Your role is to guide that development with steady calm, to show that kindness is strength, and to remind them that mistakes are opportunities to do better. Each time you respond with patience instead of anger, you teach the lesson that discipline is love in action. With time and consistency, your child will learn to replace impulse with thought, frustration with understanding, and force with compassion.