How can I help when group work leaves them unheard and angry? 

Parenting Perspective 

Group work can be a wonderful opportunity for children to learn the art of teamwork, but it can also be a deeply frustrating experience when they feel ignored, overruled, or undervalued by their peers. As a parent, you may often hear complaints like, ‘No one ever listens to my ideas!’ or ‘They just took over everything!’ It is painful to see your child return home feeling upset, torn between wanting to contribute and feeling invisible. Helping them to navigate this common challenge requires emotional coaching, not rescuing. 

Understand What Lies Beneath the Anger 

When a child feels unheard, their anger often masks a deeper emotion, such as hurt or a sense of rejection. They may interpret being ignored by the group as a sign that they are ‘not good enough.’ The goal is not to dismiss their anger, but to guide them towards understanding its source. You can begin with empathy: ‘It sounds like you felt left out when the group did not listen to your idea. That must have been really upsetting.’ When parents validate their child’s feelings first, their defensiveness softens, allowing them to move from a state of reaction to one of reflection. 

Equip Them with Respectful Assertiveness 

Children who feel unheard often oscillate between complete silence and angry outbursts. They need to be equipped with language that is calm yet clear. You can practise short, confident phrases with them at home. 

• ‘I have an idea that I would like to share as well.’ 

• ‘Could we perhaps take turns so that everyone gets a chance to speak?’ 

• ‘I do not agree with that suggestion, but let us try to find something we both like.’ 

By rehearsing these responses, you are not teaching defiance; you are teaching self-respect with composure. 

Help Them to Read the Social Climate 

Sometimes, a child’s ideas go unheard not because others are being mean, but due to issues of timing, tone, or the general group dynamic. You can help them to reflect on this gently: ‘Was everyone talking at once? Perhaps next time you could wait for a natural pause and then speak confidently.’ This is not a form of blaming; it is a way of empowering them. You are teaching your child how to adjust their communication style without compromising their self-worth. 

Build Perspective and Resilience 

Remind your child that every group is made up of different personalities: some are natural leaders, some are quiet thinkers, and some are organisers. Learning to work with all of these different types of people helps to build emotional intelligence. You can say, ‘Sometimes you will be the one to lead, and at other times you will learn how to support. Both of those roles are important.’ Encouraging gratitude for small wins, such as, ‘Even if your idea was not chosen, you helped the group to move forward,’ helps to build a sense of maturity and the ability to value the process over personal recognition. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense value on the principles of fairness, listening, and mutual respect. The noble Quran and the teachings of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ remind us that true strength lies in humility, patience, and just communication, all of which are qualities that every child needs when working with others. 

Listening as a Core Moral Value 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 38: 

‘ And those people that respond to (the commandments of) their Sustainer, and establish prayer, and conduct their affairs between each other through consultation, and spend (generously) from the sustenance We have provided them.‘ 

This verse reminds us that shura, or mutual consultation, is a core Islamic principle. When you teach your child to both speak and listen fairly during group work, you are nurturing a prophetic skill: the ability to seek harmony through respectful dialogue. 

The Prophetic Example of Inclusion and Benefit 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 272, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of people to Allah are those who are most beneficial to others.’ 

This teaching highlights that our contribution matters more than any credit we may receive. You can remind your child that even if their idea is not chosen by the group, their efforts still count in the sight of Allah Almighty. Working for the good of the group, rather than for personal praise, is an act that cultivates sincerity (ikhlas). 

You can encourage your child to make a quiet intention before every group activity: ‘O Allah, help me to speak kindly, listen fairly, and accept the outcomes with patience.’ This simple act helps to turn a moment of potential frustration into an opportunity for spiritual training. Each group task can become a chance to practise sabr (patience), adl (fairness), and tawakkul (trust in Allah). By guiding them with empathy and grounding them in these Islamic values, you can raise a child who contributes with humility, listens with respect, and finds peace in knowing that Allah Almighty always hears them, even when others do not.