How Can I Help Them Show Kindness When a Parent Comes Home Tired? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a parent returns home weary after a long day, they are often met by children who are full of energy and eager for connection and attention. While this enthusiasm is natural, guiding children to respond with gentleness and kindness in these crucial first few moments can build empathy, deepen respect, and foster a peaceful family atmosphere. It teaches children that their small, thoughtful actions can bring immense comfort and ease to those they love most. 

Prepare Their Mindset in Advance 

A few minutes before a parent is due to arrive, you can gently prepare your children for how to welcome them. A simple reminder like, ‘Dad will be home from work soon, and he might be feeling tired. Let us think of a kind and calm way to welcome him,’ helps to set a positive expectation and shifts their focus towards empathy. 

Suggest Small, Practical Gestures of Care 

Offer your children a few simple, concrete ways they can show their thoughtfulness. You could suggest they: 

• Greet the parent warmly at the door with a gentle salaam and a smile. 

• Offer to bring them a glass of water or their slippers. 

• Give them a hug before launching into stories or requests. 

• Lower their voices and avoid rough play for the first few minutes. 

These small acts create a powerful atmosphere of calm and welcome for the returning parent. 

Build Confidence Through Practice 

During calmer moments of the day, you can practise this scenario through role-play. You might pretend to come home tired and ask, ‘What is something you could do to make me feel better right now?’ When they respond with, ‘I can bring you some water,’ or ‘I can give you a quiet hug,’ it builds their confidence to act kindly in a real situation. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Thoughtfulness 

When you see your children making an effort to be gentle, even in a small way, make sure to highlight it. A quiet word of appreciation like, ‘I really noticed how you greeted Mum so calmly today when she came in. That showed a lot of respect and care for how she was feeling,’ makes their kindness feel valued and worth repeating. 

Create a Welcoming Ritual 

You can make this practice a consistent and cherished part of your family life by creating a small welcoming ritual. This could be as simple as agreeing that, ‘When Mum or Dad comes home, our family tradition is to give salaam, offer a drink, and then ask how their day was.’ Rituals help to make kindness a predictable and natural habit. 

By guiding children to notice and respond to a parent’s tiredness, you are teaching them one of the most important aspects of love: the ability to see another’s state and to choose to be a source of ease and comfort for them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam commands believers to serve their parents with the utmost mercy, honour, and gratitude. Helping children to show kindness towards a parent who is tired is a direct and beautiful way of living out this noble Islamic value within the heart of the home. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 14: 

‘ And We (Allah Almighty) have decreed upon mankind in regard to his parents; his mother carried him (in pregnancy exposing her to) weakness upon weakness; and his dependent nourishment (from her) for two years; (thus O mankind) be grateful to Me (Allah Almighty) and to your parents, and to Me is (your ultimate) destination.‘ 

This verse inextricably links care for one’s parents with gratitude to Allah. It teaches that when children show kindness and consideration towards a parent, especially in moments of their fatigue, they are fulfilling a sacred duty rooted in thankfulness for their own lives. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 2, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent, and the anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent.’ 

This profound hadith shows that pleasing one’s parents is one of the surest ways to please Allah. Teaching children that their small acts of kindness such as greeting a tired parent gently, bringing them water, or lowering their voices can bring both parental and divine pleasure gives immense meaning and purpose to their actions. 

When children learn to meet a tired parent with thoughtfulness, they are practising the virtues of mercy and respect. These habits not only bring comfort to a parent’s heart but also shape the child into a person who deeply values service, gratitude, and love within the family.