Parenting Perspective 

As teenagers develop their own opinions, disagreements are a natural and healthy sign of their growing independence. The challenge is not to suppress their views, but to channel them. Our goal is to teach them how to disagree in a way that is assertive yet respectful, ensuring that their voice is heard without damaging family harmony. 

Teach the ‘How’ Not Just the ‘What’ 

Have an explicit conversation about the difference between a respectful opinion and a disrespectful tone. You can say, ‘It is perfectly fine to disagree with me, but it is not okay to use sarcasm or a raised voice.’ Role-playing different scenarios can help make this distinction clear. 

Model Respectful Disagreement 

Your teen will learn how to handle conflict by watching you. When you are challenged, resist the urge to become defensive. A calm response like, ‘I understand your point of view, but my decision is based on this reason,’ models how to hold a boundary with composure and respect. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Efforts 

When your teen manages to express a different opinion politely, even if you do not agree with it, acknowledge their maturity. Saying, ‘Thank you for sharing your thoughts so calmly. I appreciate you talking to me like that,’ reinforces the positive behaviour. 

Frame Disagreement as Dialogue 

Help them see that a difference of opinion does not have to be a fight. By listening to their perspective and responding calmly, you are framing disagreement as an opportunity for dialogue, not a battle to be won. This teaches them that their voice has value, even when the answer is no. 

This approach helps your teen develop the crucial life skill of expressing themselves with both confidence and dignity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a profound emphasis on respectful speech (adab), especially when interacting with parents and elders. It teaches that even in moments of profound disagreement, the bond of respect must never be broken. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 15: 

‘ And if they (the parents) argue with you on (the matter of)  ascribing to anything (which amounts to  icon worshipping/paganism), other than (worshipping) Me (Allah Almighty); then (you can say to them) you do not have any knowledge (of the truth); then do not obey either of them, but keep companionship with them in this life with positivity...’ 

This powerful verse provides the ultimate example of respectful disagreement. Even when a parent asks for the gravest of sins (shirk), Allah commands us to disobey them while still treating them with kindness. This shows that respect is non-negotiable. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Part of the perfection of a person’s Islam is his leaving that which does not concern him.’ 

This hadith teaches the wisdom of choosing one’s words and battles carefully. Part of good character is avoiding unnecessary arguments and harshness, and instead speaking with purpose and respect. 

By encouraging your teen to voice their thoughts with calmness, you are helping them embody Islamic values of respect, wisdom, and self-control. Over time, they will see that expressing disagreement respectfully strengthens their voice rather than weakening it.