How can I help my child repair damage they have caused emotionally or physically? 

Parenting Perspective 

Move from Guilt to Problem-Solving 

When a child hurts someone, a simple ‘sorry’ is often not enough. True responsibility includes making amends. You can begin by encouraging your child to reflect on the situation: ‘How do you think your friend felt when that happened?’ or ‘What do you think we could do to make this right?’ This helps to shift their focus from guilt to finding a solution. 

Guide Them Towards Meaningful Repair 

Guide your child towards taking practical, restorative action. If they broke a toy, they could help to repair it. If they hurt someone’s feelings, they could write a kind note. It is also important to model this in your own life by fixing your own mistakes openly. Praise their efforts sincerely: ‘I am so proud of you for trying to make things right. That shows real maturity.’ This teaches them that repairing damage is what restores trust. 

Responsibility is About Healing and Rebuilding 

By guiding your child to take restorative action, you teach them that responsibility is not about punishment but about healing and rebuilding trust. This empowers them to see mistakes not as a final failure, but as a chance to make things better. 

Spiritual Insight 

Reconciliation Brings a Great Reward 

Islam encourages believers not only to seek forgiveness for their wrongdoings but also to actively correct them by making amends. The Quran teaches that while justice is a right, the act of pardoning and reconciling is a higher virtue that brings a reward directly from Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 40: 

‘And the outcome (of defending) against an evil, (could be the formation) of an evil similar to it; so therefore, whoever offers amnesty and reconciliation, then his reward shall be with Allah (Almighty); indeed, He (Allah Almighty) does not like the transgressors.’ 

Believers Strengthen One Another 

The prophetic tradition compares believers to a single building, where each part strengthens the others. This teaches us that when one person causes harm, it is the responsibility of believers to work together to repair the damage and restore the strength of the bond. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 2446, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts support each other.’ 

Sincerity in Making Things Right 

When you teach your child that repairing the harm they have caused is an act of both faith and compassion, they learn that their mistakes do not have to define them. Instead, they are defined by their sincere efforts to make things right, both with people and before Allah.