Parenting Perspective 

After a tantrum concludes, children frequently experience confusion and a sense of vulnerability. This moment can be a time for either disconnecting or building trust. Once the child has settled down, provide a calm presence and reassurance, while avoiding any rewards for the tantrum. You could express: 

‘That was quite challenging. I am present at this moment, and we can proceed together.’ 

Emphasise that although their actions may not have been appropriate, your concern for them continues. This allows children to feel secure, which is crucial for building trust. 

Supporting Emotional Recovery 

• Offer reassurance without giving in to demands 

• Provide a soothing activity, such as a story or an easy task 

• Re‑establish connection, not just discipline 

Some parents discover that providing a soothing activity, such as reading a brief story or encouraging their child to assist with an easy task, can aid in emotional healing. The objective is not to overlook the events that occurred, but to re‑establish a connection and help the child feel safe and accepted again. As time goes on, this creates a sense of emotional safety and reduces the likelihood of future outbursts. 

Spiritual Insight 

Trust between parent and child is rooted in mercy and reliability. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 71: 

And the believing men and the believing women, some of them are role models for each other; where they encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and forbid (the doing of) negative (immoral actions); and they establish their prayer and make the benevolent donations Zakah, and they (sincerely) obey (the commandments) of Allah Almighty and His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ)… 

This mutual support includes within families. A child’s heart is most open to guidance when they feel secure. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 254, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

Allah is more kind to His servants than this woman is to her child. 

This Hadith highlights that showing mercy does not diminish authority; rather, it enhances its effectiveness. After a tantrum, showing mercy strengthens your position as a reliable guide, rather than just someone who enforces rules. By demonstrating how to fix and rebuild relationships, you are showing your child that they are loved even when they err, and that Allah Almighty’s mercy is always close by.