How can I help my child notice the difference between being online and being emotionally present? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often confuse physical proximity with emotional presence. They may not naturally recognise the difference between someone being in the same room and someone being truly engaged. Helping them to notice this distinction is a vital lesson in valuing deep and meaningful connection. 

Model the Difference in Your Own Behaviour 

The most powerful tool is your own example. Make a conscious effort to put your device away during conversations, offering eye contact and thoughtful responses. At a separate, calm time, you can talk about the difference, explaining how it feels when you are fully focused versus when you are multitasking. 

Use Simple, Relatable Examples 

Make the concept concrete using simple, everyday examples. You could say, ‘When I put my phone down to hear about your day, my brain is fully with you. But when I try to listen while also reading a message, it is like I can only hear half the words’. This helps them understand the practical difference. 

Create Intentional Presence Moments 

Establish short, daily ‘presence moments’ where everyone is device-free and focused on each other. This could be during a meal or while sharing a dua before bed. Afterwards, you can briefly talk about how it felt to have that uninterrupted time, reinforcing the positive feeling of genuine connection. 

When children can clearly see and feel the difference for themselves, they are much more likely to value and prioritise emotional presence in their own relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that the quality of our actions is tied to our sincerity and attention. True presence, whether in our worship or with our families, requires the engagement of the heart and mind, not just the body. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 37: 

‘Indeed, in this there is a realisation for those who have a heart, and those who pay attention, whilst they are (attentively) observant…‘ 

This verse powerfully reminds us that for any communication to be truly meaningful, the listener must be ‘present in mind’. This is the Islamic definition of active listening an engagement of the heart, not just the ears. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2392, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When you love someone, tell them that you love them.’ 

This beautiful teaching encourages us to make our connections known through sincere, open expression. That sincerity is most powerfully conveyed when it is backed by our full, undivided attention, which shows that our words are truly meant. 

By helping your child to notice the warmth and comfort that comes from real presence, you are equipping them with a crucial life skill: the ability to value and seek out deep human connection over the fleeting interactions of the online world.