How can I help my child navigate unfair play or favouritism from classmates? 

Parenting Perspective 

Validate Their Feelings 

Facing unfairness or favouritism at school can be deeply discouraging for a child. The most important first step is to validate their feelings without dismissing them: ‘I can understand why that felt unfair to you.’ This simple act of empathy shows them that their hurt is seen and understood, which is the foundation for any constructive conversation. 

Equip Them with Calm Responses 

You can equip your child with simple, polite phrases to use in the moment, such as, ‘Could I please have a turn now?’ or ‘That does not feel very fair to me.’ Practising these responses at home can build their confidence to speak up respectfully. If the unfairness involves an adult, encourage your child to tell you about it later so that you can address it constructively. 

Build Resilience and Perspective 

Remind your child that while life is not always fair, our dignity is found in how we choose to respond. Praise them for staying calm or walking away from a situation rather than retaliating. It also helps to encourage them to focus their energy on friendships and activities where they feel valued and respected. This balance builds true resilience and self-confidence. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Commands Justice 

Islam is founded on the principle of justice. The Quran reminds us that fairness and good conduct are divine commands from Allah, and that oppression and bad conduct are forbidden. This reassures a child that their desire for fairness is aligned with their faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty; and He (Allah Almighty) offers this enlightened direction so that you continue to realise (the true pathway of Islam).‘ 

Injustice Will Be Darkness on the Last Day 

The prophetic tradition gives a stark warning about the consequences of injustice, teaching that it will manifest as darkness on the Day of Resurrection. This is a powerful reminder that while we may experience unfairness in this life, true justice will ultimately come from Allah. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, 483, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Beware of injustice, for injustice will be darkness on the Day of Resurrection.’ 

Responding with Dignity and Trust 

By framing unfairness as both a test from Allah and an opportunity to grow in patience, you can help your child to respond with dignity. This perspective builds their resilience, teaching them that ultimate justice and their true value come from Allah alone, not from the changing opinions of others.