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How can I help my child name and express their emotions without shame?

Parenting Perspective

Begin by demonstrating the language of emotion yourself: ‘I am frustrated.’ Introduce basic words for emotions, such as sad, angry, and enthusiastic, and gently describe their actions by saying something like, ‘Looks like you feel left out.’ Instead of criticizing emotions, support them as natural and human. Acknowledge emotional transparency by saying, ‘Thank you for telling me.’ Naming emotions gradually improves emotional literacy and lessens shame.

Spiritual Insight

Naming emotions aligns with prophetic honesty and emotional awareness. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 38:
‘And those people that respond to the (commandments of) their Sustainer, and establish prayer, and conduct their affairs between each other through consultation…’
Consultation begins with awareness. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1303, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ himself cried at moments of loss and grief, including at the death of his son Ibrahim. ‘The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him, and later we entered Abu Saif’s house, and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ started shedding tears.’ Children who are encouraged to name their emotions participate in that prophetic openness.

 

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