How can I help my child manage frustration when they struggle with something new, like tying shoes or writing?

Acquiring a new skill, like tying shoelaces or writing, can be particularly challenging for children. At this stage, their wish for independence frequently surpasses their existing skills. This gap can cause emotional stress, resulting in crying, refusal, or even outbursts. It is important for parents to distinguish between making progress and achieving perfection. Rather than hurrying to complete the task on their behalf, provide steady support and divide the task into smaller, more manageable parts. Recognise their emotions and mirror them: ‘It can be challenging when things require time, but your learning process is important.’

Frustration tolerance is a skill that you build gradually by facing challenges and then achieving success. Establish a peaceful and encouraging atmosphere in which the child feels secure enough to attempt tasks and learn from mistakes. Utilise straightforward phrases like ‘Give it another shot’ or ‘Let’s pause for a moment’. Recognise and appreciate the effort put in, rather than just focussing on the results. As time goes on, your child will start to view challenges not as a source of shame, but as opportunities for learning, determination, and strength.