Parenting Perspective 

Understanding how to apologise after getting upset is an important step in growing emotionally and building good character, but it can be challenging for many children. Following a meltdown, individuals might experience feelings of embarrassment, defensiveness, or uncertainty about how to restore trust. For a child to genuinely apologise, they need to grasp how their actions affect others and feel secure enough to accept accountability. 

Start by helping your child think about what happened after they have settled down. Pose open-ended questions such as: 

• ‘How do you believe the other person felt?’ 

• ‘What alternative actions might you have considered?’ 

Modelling Accountability 

Exhibit the actions you want to encourage in others. When parents say sorry for their mistakes, such as raising their voice or misinterpreting a situation, they demonstrate that taking responsibility is a strength, not a flaw. 

• For younger children, provide straightforward phrases they can use: 

• ‘I apologise for raising my voice.’ 

• ‘I felt upset, but I should have chosen my words more carefully.’ 

• For older individuals, suggest composing an apology note or performing a thoughtful act. 

The important thing is to view an apology not as a form of punishment, but as a way to rebuild a connection. As children grow, they come to understand that recognising their errors and taking steps to correct them is essential for building healthy relationships and maintaining self-respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Apologising after wrongdoing is deeply rooted in Islamic teachings of repentance and repair. The noble Qur’an encourages believers to seek forgiveness and strive for better conduct. 

Allah Almighty states in Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verse 199: 

‘(O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) adopt a forgiving approach, and encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and disregard those who are imbued in their ignorance. ‘

This verse reflects the value of grace and the courage to let go of pride. Teaching children that asking for forgiveness is a cherished action in the eyes of Allah strengthens their character and deepens their faith. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4251, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent. ‘

When we teach children to apologise, we are not merely correcting their behaviour, we are helping them fulfil an important spiritual practice. A short Dua such as ‘O Allah, help me to fix my mistakes and make peace with others’ can be introduced as part of their reflective process. 

By explaining that apologising is a way to seek both human and divine forgiveness, we provide our children with a meaningful reason to choose humility instead of stubbornness, and compassion rather than pride.