How can I help my child handle teasing kindly? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understand and Validate Their Feelings 

Teasing is a common and often hurtful part of growing up, especially for children who are sensitive or have special educational needs (SEN). The first step is to help your child understand that teasing often says more about the teaser than it does about them. When they tell you about an incident, stay calm and do not dismiss their feelings with phrases like ‘Just ignore it,’ especially if they are upset. 

Role-Play Kind and Firm Responses 

Talk through what happened. Ask simple questions: ‘What did they say? How did that make you feel?’ Praise your child for telling you, as this builds the trust they need to come to you again. Role-play kind but firm responses they can use, such as, ‘Please do not say that to me; I do not like it.’ Practise saying it with a strong, steady voice to build their confidence. 

Teach Them That Walking Away is Brave 

Teach your child that walking away is often the bravest choice. They do not have to stand and argue; they can look for a friend, a teacher, or another trusted adult if the teasing does not stop.³ Remind them that they are not ‘weak’ for seeking help—it is a wise action that keeps them safe. 

Praise Their Courage 

Praise your child’s courage when they handle teasing without being unkind in return. Discuss ways to stay kind without letting others hurt them: ‘We do not use unkind words in return, but we always stand up for ourselves.’ Reinforce that teasing should never be accepted as normal. Keep communication open so they feel safe sharing small hurts before they grow into bigger worries. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to respond to hurtful words with patience, dignity, and kindness, while also protecting our self-respect. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Fussilat (41), Verse 34: 

‘Good and evil cannot be equal. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.‘

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ faced mockery and hurtful words, yet he ﷺ always responded with patience, truth, and calm strength. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people.‘

Remind your child that staying kind does not mean letting others walk over them; it means keeping their heart pure while setting clear boundaries. 

Help them make a small Dua: ‘O Allah Almighty, protect me from hurtful words and help me be strong and kind.’ Reassure them that every time they show patience and courage, Allah Almighty sees their effort and will strengthen and honour them. 

With your gentle guidance and faith-filled reminders, your child can learn that responding to teasing kindly is not weakness; it is a strength rooted in wisdom, dignity, and trust in Allah Almighty.