How can I help my child feel proud of who they are? 

Parenting Perspective 

Building a Foundation of Self-Worth 

Children with special educational needs (SEN) or unique differences often grow up feeling like they do not quite ‘fit in’. They may hear careless words, face comparisons, or struggle with tasks that seem easy for others. As a parent, you play a powerful role in shaping how they see themselves. The goal is to build a foundation of self-worth that does not rely on being ‘like everyone else’, but on being loved exactly as they are. 

Use Your Words to Praise Character 

Start with your words. Notice your child’s strengths, even the small ones, and say them out loud: ‘You are so good at noticing tiny details!’ or ‘I love how kind you are to animals.’ Praise their effort, not just their results. Let your child see that you celebrate who they are, not just what they achieve. 

Talk Openly About Their Uniqueness 

Talk openly about what makes them unique. Use simple words: ‘Everyone is different. Allah Almighty made you just right for the special path He chose for you.’ Be honest about their challenges but balance them with their strengths. Teach siblings and relatives to do the same. 

Find Opportunities for Them to Shine 

Find opportunities for your child to shine. Whether it is painting, building, helping at home, or reciting a short Dua, celebrate it. Frame their artwork, share their good deeds with family, and let them see the joy they bring to others. Remind your child that being different is not something to hide; it is something to handle with pride and trust that Allah Almighty knows them best. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that our worth comes from our hearts and deeds, not from how we compare to others. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 13: 

‘Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you… ‘

This Ayah reminds your child that what matters is not what they struggle with, but the goodness in their heart. 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ embraced people’s differences with love and compassion. He ﷺ encouraged his companions to focus on their strengths and serve others with what they could do best. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people. ‘

True kindness includes being kind to ourselves, too. 

Make a gentle Dua with your child: ‘O Allah Almighty, help me love who I am and who You made me to be.’ Tell your child that every smile they share, every small step they try, every good intention they hold; all of it is seen and rewarded by Allah Almighty. 

With your warm words, daily praise, and faith-filled reminders, you help your child grow roots of self-worth so deep that no harsh words can pull them out.