How can I help my child calm down and refocus?

Helping your child learn to calm down and refocus is a skill that begins in the early years and continues to evolve throughout childhood. It is not about stopping feelings but guiding a child gently through them. Emotional dysregulation, whether through frustration, sadness, or sensory overload, is common in young children because their brains are still learning how to manage strong feelings. As a parent, your goal is to offer tools that support this development with compassion and consistency.
Simple calming techniques are often the most effective. Encourage your child to take slow, deep breaths by modelling it yourself. Some children find calm through physical comfort, such as hugging a soft toy, holding your hand, or wrapping themselves in a cosy blanket. Others may benefit from sensory activities like playing with dough, squeezing a ball, or watching water swirl in a jar. Calm music, soft lighting, or even a change of scenery, like stepping outside, can also ease emotional tension.
Creating a quiet corner in your home can be incredibly helpful. This is not a time-out space, but a calm zone for regrouping. Fill it with books, calming textures, or familiar comfort objects. When your child becomes upset, avoid using dismissive phrases like ‘calm down.’ Instead, say things like ‘I am here’ or ‘Let us take a moment together.’ These words validate the emotion while gently redirecting the energy. Over time, these strategies form the basis of a child’s emotional toolkit.
Remind your child that all people get upset sometimes, even grown-ups. Share how you calm down when you are overwhelmed. With time and repetition, your child will begin to internalise these strategies and use them independently. These routines, practiced with patience and warmth, become lifelong tools for focus, empathy, and emotional problem-solving