How can I help my child accept feeling two different things at once? 

Parenting Perspective 

Normalise ‘Mixed-Up’ Feelings 

Children often get confused when they feel two big emotions at the same time. They might feel happy and sad about a change, or excited but nervous about a new experience. Some worry that feeling ‘mixed up’ means that something is wrong with them. You can start by gently explaining that it is normal to feel more than one thing at once. Use calm words: ‘Our hearts are big enough to hold many feelings together. It does not mean you are wrong or broken.’ 

Use Examples and Practice 

Give your child real-life examples. ‘You can feel sad to leave your old school but excited to make new friends. You can feel cross with your sibling but still love them.’ Practise naming both feelings out loud: ‘I feel proud and scared,’ or ‘I feel happy and worried.’ You could even draw two colours on a feelings chart to show how emotions can sit side by side. Remind your child that feelings come and go; they are visitors, not a permanent part of who they are. Praise them for sharing feelings that feel confusing. Over time, these gentle reminders help your child to trust that their heart can make space for many feelings, and that all of them deserve kindness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that Allah Almighty knows every hidden layer of our hearts, every hope, worry, and whisper. He never judges us for feeling many things at once. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 16: 

‘And indeed, We have created mankind, and so We have full knowledge of all the (thoughts) he murmurs within himself; and We (Allah Almighty) are more closer to him than his jugular vein.’ 

This Ayah reminds your child that Allah Almighty understands even what feels tangled inside. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3372, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Dua is worship.’ 

Encourage your child to make a gentle Dua when they feel mixed up: ‘Ya Allah, help me carry all these feelings and stay calm.’ This quiet prayer turns confusion into trust. By linking this to their faith, you teach your child that no feeling is too messy for Allah Almighty’s mercy, and that holding two feelings at once does not mean they are wrong; it means they are human, held and guided by His perfect understanding.