How can I handle another parent who laughs off roughness that hurt? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be upsetting when your child gets hurt during play, and another parent simply waves it away with a laugh. You want to protect your child while also preserving the relationship. The goal is to respond in a way that prioritises safety, maintains your dignity, and invites cooperation without shaming anyone. 

Tend to Your Child First 

Before you address the other adult, step towards your child. Kneel down to their eye level, check for any injuries, and offer a calm, reassuring line: ‘You are safe now. I am here.’ This quick physical reset can reduce tears and prevents the moment from escalating into a public debate. 

Name the Behaviour, Not the Child 

When you speak to the other parent, it is best to do so privately, speak softly, and stick to the observable facts. 

• ‘When the tackle happened just now, my child fell on their shoulder and seems to be sore.’ 

• ‘I want them both to enjoy the game, but I need the tackling to stop for now.’ 

Sticking to the facts helps to reduce defensiveness. It is best to avoid using subjective labels like ‘too rough’ or ‘out of control’. 

Use “We” Language and Suggest an Alternative 

Collaboration sounds like this: ‘It looks like the game is getting a bit lively. Shall we switch to shoulder taps instead of tackles so that everyone stays confident?’ This frames the change as a shared goal, not a personal fault. 

If They Continue to Laugh It Off 

If your suggestion is dismissed, hold your line kindly and then act. Taking calm action communicates the seriousness of the situation without needing a lecture. 

You: ‘That last tackle looked painful. We are going to keep tackles off for my one.’ 

Other parent: ‘Oh, come on, it is just a bit of fun.’ 

You: ‘I understand that many children enjoy it, but mine does not. We are going to switch to touch-only for a while.’ 

If they continue to minimise your concerns, you can close the conversation with warmth while still maintaining your boundary: ‘Thank you for understanding. We will stick with touch for now; otherwise, we might have to bow out today.’ 

Protect Your Child’s Dignity 

Avoid getting into an argument in front of the children. If needed, move your child to a different area, offer them a drink, or suggest a new game that everyone can play safely. Later, you can say to your child, ‘You listened to your body and were brave enough to take a pause. That was exactly the right thing to do.’ 

Know When to Leave Early 

If the environment continues to feel unsafe, it is perfectly acceptable to leave graciously: ‘We are going to head off now so that we can end the day on a good note. Thank you so much for hosting.’ You do not owe any further explanation. 

Debrief and Rehearse for Next Time 

At home, you can reflect on the situation for a couple of minutes. 

• ‘Where did your body first tell you that this was not fun?’ 

• ‘Which sentence would you like to try first next time?’ 

Spiritual Insight 

We are the guardians of our children’s bodies and hearts. Islam calls us to pair justice with gentleness, to correct harm without humiliating others, and to keep the peace without accepting what is unsafe. 

The Command to Speak in the Best Way 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them…’ 

This verse reminds us that even when we must disagree, our words should be the best we can offer. Choosing calm, constructive speech closes the door to hostility and ensures that relationships remain repairable. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2444, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or an oppressed one.’ They asked, ‘How do we help him if he is an oppressor?’ He said, ‘By preventing him from oppressing others.’ 

This teaches us that real help includes stopping harm in a kind way. In practice, that means pausing unsafe play, proposing safer rules, or stepping away, even if someone else laughs it off.